I want to live well and take care of children again

For almost 4 years, it has been fighting a disease that doctors can not detect. There have been numerous analyzes, healing, X-rays, surgery, removal of skin biopsy, but even more so, doctors can not deceive the cause of the disease and can not find the right medicine. I've come to hospital several times. In-depth tests have been carried out, but so far nothing is known. Because of insufficient knowledge, doctors have shown me that I am looking for help in other countries. I want to play with children again, go hiking, go on tours, because I can not do it all. The disease has taken my strength to withstand a distant piece of life, joy and strength of life. It has made my body powerless unable to work properly and engage in physical activity. Because of this, I feel like a vegetable because I can not even elementary things, because as soon as I'm done, the body starts to hurt stomachs and painful tubers. Power and pain-driven I will spend most of my time on the bed, but I do not want to live in my 30 years. I want to smile again and be together everywhere with my children who suffer when I see it. I'm going to sleep with thought or tomorrow I will feel good and I can spend time with the children. Every day I find it challenging and tired to think how long it will be and whether I will ever be myself again.