I am a 28 years old girl from Singapore. A girl whereby everyone describe me as silly, naive and simple minded. I would like to share my story and hope to have some advice and support because I don’t have anyone that can listen to me.
Sorry for my long story because I am really not good at expressing myself.
I appreciate everyone that willing to read on my story and to be my listening ear although being busy. I went through a nightmare that change my life dramatically. I will go straight to the point why am I here now. It started since last year May, I help a friend that I thought I can treat as my family with money and most important my heart to believe and trust without any doubt by using my own name take loans from bank, car rental, money lender and pawn all my valuable things and sooner my families found out. My parents and siblings don’t believe that someone will be so silly like me to do all these for a person. They thought I am doing some investment and lose money but is not for my case. All along I am just a normal girl who work for my dad in his office without any ambitious dream of becoming a businesswomen. I prefer to be simple and I always want to believe that so long I use my heart to people and one day they will be able to feel me no matter how bad a person is. Currently I am still having debts with the bank for about 100K and total amount I lose is about 200K including those loans. But this friend just disappeared somehow. Due to all these factors, everyone look at me now like I am just someone useless and hopeless. Facing all the financial issues, I am not even able to do my only hobby in my life which is yoga anymore because I need to sell off my lifetime membership card to pay part of the monthly bills. I can’t afford many things in my life even basic necessities and by working I can only pay off overdraft interest. I am just feeling hopeless and depressing when seeing the amount of the debts not able to reduce with those money I work and earn but only just able to pay off forever never ending interests.
I cannot go out or do any other things because due to all this factors. That’s why I cannot even sleep soundly or easily when I am actually a light sleeper since young. After this set back the more I cannot sleep. Without losing this weight I don’t have the confidence to step out to face this world again. Partly because I am someone quite sensitive to people comments especially my loved one. The only time I felt better is after attending hot yoga class, the swell at my wrist and leg went down I feel lighten and more comfortable. But good time don’t last because all these require money and not just few times sessions of yoga can heal me. Due to bank reminder from time to time like letters from bank, calls and even letter of demand from lawyer by the bank, I can only just keep working even during Chinese New Year. So I do not have time to really settle down back to my yoga sessions and it fall back to square one again. I can’t even control my tears and will just drop whenever I am trying hard to express myself about how I feel this one year even like now. My birthday just passed few days ago, and this is the first time my family never celebrate for me anymore so I can only stay in my room the whole day alone with my dog. I want to stand up again, I hope to be well again and dress up myself again like a normal girl if not I just feel very depressing. This one year I face a lot more problems and issues other than the above but I think i might not be able to finish in just a post. I hope everyone can be well and happy.
I just want to say having the thought of raising this fund is because I got no more ways I can think of to settle my problem. I just want my normal and peaceful life back so I can work hard in the future to prove to my families I am not that useless and can continue with volunteering and charity works again but as of now I cannot even help myself. I wish rainbow will be able to appear in my life for once.
Thank you so much to anyone that are reading my post.
A girl who need hope