I don’t want to waste my f*cking life anymore

Everyday I see great opportunities passing by. I see women in the streets, or in my school, beautiful ones, a lot of them. There are some I would have sex with because they are so attractive. Others are so cute that it's just draws my attantetion. Or their style is unique and intersting or they have some flair I can't explain. I could make great connections with some of them, I'm sure. If I would approach them.

But I don't have the courage for it. I don't have the skills do to it properly. What I have is a bunch of insecurities and negative belief systems. I have issues in expressing myself, because I care to much about others. I have problems with valueing myself. I have a very mediocare love life getting sex every few month, having relationships for a short time.

I am all aware of these thing but I can't overcome them efficiently even if they are not real things. And these feelings are poisoning my life because I got used to not taking risks, not to act from the desires of my heart and settle. I know very much that the one who harms my life is me. I close myself into a little place with mediocricity with settleing and with pain but I can't let myself out alone. I can't fix it alone.

I have a plan for a long time ago. I want to take part