I didn’t know what else to do

Hi everyone thanks for taking the time to read this, I'm not good when it comes to talking to people or saying how I feel or anything like that so I hope this don't sound like non sense but yeah... Its never an easy thing to admit when your struggling with life. I struggle with life. Yes I said it.I suffer with depression it doesn't matter where you are, your not getting away from that one. The bad days are really, really bad. Being in that place is incredibly painful and scary. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.A Lot of people don't realise how cripilling it is to be clinically depressed and adding the anxiety only makes your everyday life even more of a struggle, causing you to feel debilited, helpless, mentally and emotionally handicap. You can't trust what you feel because it changes from day to day. You try to put things into prospective in your mind but your thoughts are so scrambled and confused it makes you more frustrated and discouraged. I have low self esteem and I'd like to feel good in my own skin I'd love to be able to afford some procedurse in hopes of feeling normal even. I don't want to live like this forever. I do want to overcome this and be happy someday. I Know this may seem like I'm selfish cause there's people worse off than me but I do need help. I don't work I'm ashamed to say that I'm on benifits which truthfully isn't enough to support me and my family to even think about trying to save by. I find it hard to leave my house let alone interact with people and when I do I just feel like a stuttering fool or something I don't know. I'd like to save to buy a house I can feel secure in also, id like to help my family as they are struggling aswell. I just feel like a burden to them and I'd like to pay them back for all the help and support they've given to me even after all the stress I've put them through. So if you can find it in your hearts I'd appreciate it if you could help me... Thankyou