Hopes of a FairyTale

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Sometimes letting go of expectations of who we'll marry or how we'll meet our future spouse allows us to receive the story God has for us. I used to think I'd probably marry the first man I loved. In one of my favorite stories, Anne of Green Gables, the red-headed heroine falls in love with Gilbert, her childhood classmate and enemy-turned-friend. How romantic it would be, I thought, to marry someone I'd known most of my life. Someone who knew my family, had seen me in my awkward years, and loved me for it. Once I moved away from my small town for college, that expectation quickly faded. I think we all have romantic scenarios that play through our minds. These scenes may be fueled by cherished stories or movies. They may be based on the examples in our lives, such as parents or grandparents. Or they may be informed by our own ideals for love (e.g. "I would never want to meet my spouse online.") Because of these ideals, you may plan on marrying someone taller, shorter, older or younger than yourself. You may have your hopes set on marrying someone without a "past." You may anticipate that your future spouse will have been raised in a Christian home. Or you may expect he has a good job, or she will be a proficient cook or housekeeper. Maybe your fairy tale is less about a checklist for your future spouse and more about how your love story will unfold. You may anticipate marrying at a certain age. Perhaps you imagine a "meet cute," such as getting stuck on an elevator together or sitting next to one another on a plane. It really came down to unconditional commitment. There is a mutual attraction, but my partner and I would like to walked into marriage really knowing all of our stuff. We'd seen our ugliest moments. My partner says that while his original fairy tale vision had been emotional, he came to realize, "The real fairy tale is sacrificial. Not 'what's in it for me?' or us but 'How can we show Christ's love to this each other?


Posted On Nov 21, 2014

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