wallace/evie support group

Update posted by kathryn wallace On Jun 11, 2017

friends - i am constantly in awe of the good people in my life who took money that could have gone to their families or a million other things and generously gave that money to my sad fight. so much goodness! so much help! there's been a lot of denial over here about being in this place, about needing help, about the insane amounts of resources and energy being dumped into a fight. it's never lost on me how there's still so much beauty and generosity and kindness even in a war. beauty for ashes indeed. thank you for answering my call. there were desperate hours and days (and months) where i felt like i was on the deck of the titanic as it was going down, begging for a life raft for my daughter. you heard me and responded so generously. thank you will really never be enough, but it's what i have right now. you're in my prayers and i hope you receive blessings for your goodness.

as far as the legal side of things... i got a new attorney. she's cheaper (yah!) and was recommended by a woman who went through a divorce that mirrors mine in a lot of sad ways. this attorney is a good fit and immediately understood the big issues. fun fact: only about 3 percent of divorces end up in family court. most divorces settle. if a settlement can't be reached, it's usually because of a personality disorder in one of the parties. i'm still putting forward settlement offers and working in every way towards a solution that doesn't include the two of us testifying against each other in open court.

and i'm also working on getting financially stable so i can pay everyone back for their kindness. it will happen one day.

again - thank you. thank you. thank you.

love,

k+e

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Update posted by kathryn wallace On May 15, 2017

friends -

i'm so overwhelmed by your support and kindness! again -- thank you isn't enough. it will never ever be enough.

as far as the update: last week included two of the worst days of my life. that's usually a hyperbolic statement, but not this time. we had our depositions for the trial. that means his attorney (who is a pit bull) was yelling and interrogating me about every decision, every mis-step in my marriage, and every lie my soon-to-be-ex believes. all of this happened with him and his attorney sitting across a gleaming conference room table. and then the next day, i got to hear his "version." it was punishing. he's feeling pretty confident - enough to push for the right to designate evie's residence and 70-30 custody. it's gross. evie's best interest is obviously not a consideration any longer.

if i can keep imposing on you for prayers, i'll gratefully take them. thank you for all the kind words, the love, the financial support. it buoys me in the hardest moment of my life. xo k

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Update posted by kathryn wallace On May 08, 2017

you good, wonderful people,

thank you. thank you. thank you... it's just not enough for the extreme kindness and generosity i have received in the last week. i'm swimming upstream in a million emotions - huge waves of gratitude, relief, love, amazement at the goodness of so very many people... and also feelings of denial and unworthiness that i'm in this place and so many of you have taken money meant for your families and so selflessly offered it to me. it's miraculous and beautiful and touching... and, yes, a little hard to be on this end of the giving cycle. i apologize it's taken me so long to acknowledge your goodness. you should know that i have written every name and every dollar in a book and one day you will all receive a check from me. it might be a while... but i will repay your kindness to you and i will pay it forward. that book of giving is a profound testimony to the goodness of people.

this first email/naked plea for help you received last sunday was written after an honest-to-goodness panic attack after receiving an email from my attorney (on a sunday!) that he could no longer work on my case because of lack of funds. i had exhausted my finances, maxed out credit cards, taken loans and leaned on family. all of you wonderful people gave me the ability to pay my attorneys to keep at my case, paying down my debt to them and getting them a retainer to do the next hard things. and there are more hard things - my trial has been bumped to august now, and the opposing counsel has called another hearing (two trials!).

every day this last week has been a surprise (not the good kind) and a bit of a fight to find positivity for my daughter. and every day more of you stood with me and added strength to my fight. i've re-read every message you've written to me and it makes me happy that of all the mistakes and errors of judgment in my life, i made some good friends... and had the extreme good fortune of rubbing shoulders with some of the most magnificent people on this good planet. you are my tribe and my rescuers and i'm more grateful for you than i'll ever be able to share. i hope you can feel some of my happy, grateful debt to you... and i'll try my best to be like you all whenever i run across someone hurting and in need.

all kinds of love,

k

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we're with you, girl!

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You are in my prayers.

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