First I'd like to introduce myself and tell a little bit about me. So, please bear with me a little while (I also excuse myself in advance, that many times I write or say more, that is needed or what people want to hear or read) until I come to the 'core' of my problem, for which I need help from ALL from you.
I think it would be 'unfair' (to say at least), if you knew nothing PERSONAL about me.
My name is Denis Puhar and I am a licensed physician for around 12 years (I graduated on 10. of October, 2006). Sadly, I'm now unemployed for 9 or 10 years.
Reasons for this are at least for me until this day still a "big unknown", but what I can say for sure is, that I was and still am an excellent physician with all of my heart.
I must also emphasize, that for 3 or 4 years before I even graduated I was a volunteer in various 'local' Emergency Centers (almost around half of the country) and I acquired a wealth of experience in Emergency medicine as in Anesthesiology (what later - though for short time - also became my residency), that are not written in the books.
I can't remember a SINGLE facility, where the staff (sometimes sooner sometimes later) made me an essential part of their team and they treated me almost as equals and the feeling was mutual.
And now back to the fact, how 'hastily' it was decided, that they will 'get rid' of me!
All I know for sure, that soon as I started working, I fast became a sort of a "persona non grata" in the medical community & the length with which the highest ranking officials MADE SURE, that they will prevent me from working (but this applies only for Slovenia) goes beyond any description with words.
The big 'irony' (if it weren't so sad) is, that 99% of all the teams (physicians and nurses) I worked with & NOT a single patient (and there were hundreds of them) that was ever in my care, has not even one bad word to say against me - rather the opposite!
From time to time (albeit rarely) it even happens, that people stop me and thank me for everything I've done for them (and this is something which every person should posses - humanity and empathy, especially if because of that, a life of someone is saved).
And there is another thing - even if it sounds unbelievable for a country in EU:
Still today I'm afraid of the 'repercussions', if I speak out and tell some really 'dirty' things, which sadly go on and are becoming worse and worse in this country, about healthcare - which is still (!) in public domain and is PUBLICLY funded!
I learned about the those 'things' mostly trough 'accidents' (some people on high positions had several times a 'slip of their tongue' over the years) and this eventually 'helped' me, to solve this big 'jigsaw puzzle' at least to a degree (though VERY MUCH is still missing).
In ANY other country with a judicial system, which actually works, something like that could have never happened.
But at those times I was still young and haven't had a clue about life in general and didn't 'FIGHT' back, when this was most needed, but until I came to this realization, much of my options, how to proceed, were gone.
Now I should move (fast) forward a few years into the future (into the time, AFTER all those initial events, I written about them above, ALREADY OCCURRED).
For quite a few years (together with my mother) I tried EVERYTHING possible, that things, which happened to me, become public and that the responsible ones answer for their 'actions' (again - a very mild word).
Also, I FOUGHT to the limits of my possibilities, that the injustice, which occurred to me, gets resolved in such or another way. But speaking metaphorically:
For every lawyer, that I had, they got themselves ten of them. And it is also worth mentioning, that I was NEVER officially (or even unofficially) accused of ANYTHING (or at least got a hint, what I have done wrong).
All what could be heard were totally unsubstantiated rumors, because if those were true, I would lose my license immediately (or even something worse) or said with different words:
If true, I, MYSELF (!) would turn my license and even my diploma (medical degree) back to them.
Years of this pressure and stress have left their mark on me (& especially on my mother):
We tried so many things and achieved virtually nothing (except, that now, I understand a little better, how 'things' in such tightly net "ELITE" communities work).
Soon we lost almost all of our savings and had to move from our own flat to a rented one (now as I'm writing, this is ALREADY the third one - where the landlord is & behaves in a true word more than a 'king', than anything else).
So, that you will easily understand my (our) hardship:
In all those years (though I was NEVER officially fired or given a reason, why I'm suddenly without work) I receive monthly ONLY a little less than 300 € (as a support from the state - where their employee officially stated, that there is NOTHING, what they could do for me - CONSEQUENCE:)
In MANY YEARS I received NOT 1 (ONE) job offer (beside, that I was ACTIVELY searching for ANY KIND of WORK myself).
The same story (or even more sad) is with my mother:
For 42 years of work she receives ONLY around something more than 550 €.
I think, that enduring such circumstances for MANY YEARS, leaves huge psychological consequences (maybe you are not even aware of this for a long time, until one day, 'out of the blue', EVERYTHING 'explodes') & suddenly you find yourself on the 'edge of a cliff'!
But NOTHING kept me (to be fair: BOTH of US) from constantly, all around the clock, looking for a solution.
Just ONE of many examples:
I was born in Germany and speak and understand it very well.
The same is with English and my ULTIMATE goal is, that I move (with my mother - until there's still time) out of this 'rotten' country' (I excuse myself for this word - but I really do not find a more suitable one).
But - as the situation could not be worse - around 2,5 or 3 years ago I became VERY ILL.
In Slovenia, though I saw (and have been examined by) seven or eight different specialists (and the health system SHOULD be free & available to ANYONE, without any exceptions), NONE of those persons offered me any options, much less treatment (oh, I excuse myself - there were very subtle hints, that if I pay, the situation could change!!!)
By a complete "coincidence" (the quotation marks because I DON'T BELIEVE in coincidences) I met trough a third person a very well known dentist with additional specializations - one among them was oral surgery.
She performed much needed X-Rays immediately (though she had NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE of me) and set an appointment with me IMMEDIATELY (it was Friday so that I came to her URGENTLY on Monday).
I had immediately an EXTENSIVE surgery (potentially life threatening) and the second one a couple of days later.
On the X-Rays even a layman could (CAN) SEE (!), that whole of my lower jaw (the MANDIBLE) was full of pus as was the case with the upper one (the MAXILLA) and the infection almost reached the orbital cavity.
She made a decision, that DURING my procedures, she won't tell me, that if I have waited a week (or maybe a maximum of 10 days) I would have almost surely died because of SEPSIS or ENCEPHALITIS.
This told me my mother, after the worst was for me over (or so I thought :(
In couple of days I lost ALL of my teeth, which were 3 years ago (or even 2 and a half) still in PERFECT health & shape, and doing such an EXTENSIVE surgery brings its own risks (because I had to be given so much local anesthetic - 10 if not more injections almost at once -, which contained a local anesthetic, with similar properties as ADRENALINE (EPINEPHRINE) has, so that at one point my heart rate spiked to almost 200 beats per minute and I felt rather intense pain on the left side of my chest).
Those are the words of the dentist to my mother (spoken in private) & because of this paraphrased (also she did not want, that I worry additionally, if I hear everything at once (and especially because I'm a physician):
"I should tell you and you decide. Even about the fact, IF Denis should hear EVERYTHING what transpired during the procedure.
Denis was is so BAD shape, that I was genuinely worried for his life. Such procedures aren't something, that are made in such short intervals, but because of the CRITICAL situation, that he'll INEVITABLY develop a sepsis or encephalitis, I had to 'choose between two "lesser evils";
Go along with the procedure right away (and risk a myocardial infarction) or wait a little more time and take a BIG CHANCE, that in worst chance I develop (probably) deadly complications!"
So, here you have it:
This was a dentist, which I met for the FIRST TIME, knew nothing about me, but no matter what, she WILL NOT LET ME DIE!
And on the other side you have dentists on this side of the border, where I live (!!!), who - without even considering - would let "destiny do its thing" - though healthcare should (!!!) be free and equal to all (as I ALREADY pointed out CLEARLY)!
I can just ask myself, HOW MUCH is WORTH a life o person and how do you even measure that!?!
One would at least now think, that the worst I endured is behind me, but:
The reason, for this, what happened to my teeth in such a relatively short time lies WITHOUT a DOUBT much deeper:
According to the dentist (and her consultation with her other colleagues) such a RAPID DECAY of ALL (but one) teeth, CAN NOT BE a DENTAL DISEASE (99,9%).
With a VERY HIGH PROBABILITY, this was only a manifestation of something MUCH MORE SERIOUS, what's going on in my body:
But until further DETAILED GENETIC tests and exams for INTERNAL DISEASES will be made, everything else would be as "random touching in darkness"!
ONLY ONE THING is for SURE:
This what is going on inside of me (also in this moment as I'm writing this) could be potentially EVEN MORE DEADLY (chemical imbalances because of some genetic disorder, autoimmune diseases and even in the worst case - a type of cancer)!!!
I can just hope, that those of you, who read this, don't need a lot of imagination about how I feel at this moment.
Just as I thought, that I'm over ''the worst", now this. And taking into consideration, how fast (SLOW !!!) are the wheels of medicine (at least where I live) turning, I really don't know anymore what the end result will be!
And to be honest, I'm having ONLY just a 'TINY RESERVE' in me left and this is also FADING (too fast).
I do not even know, if I should mention this?
THE FIRST TIME after I came back from the dental clinic (after the 2. procedure) with a least some sort of guarantee, that at least for now, everything will be fine, this happened:
My dog Floki (you can see him on the picture in my arms), which was my BEST FRIEND & COMPANION for 12 years and completely healthy (at least on the outside), died in my arms when I came home (he heard me on the hallway, when I was coming home to the flat in Slovenia - as countless times before) - probably because of a brain hemorrhage.
The vet told me (after I managed to calm me down even a little), that probably his blood pressure has risen too much, after he heard me coming home (especially because he was not the youngest anymore).
There is much much more, that I should write, but I think, that I'm running out of space.
Here you have the details and now decide for yourselves.
In WHOLE of this text I let a LOT of things (DIFFICULT things, that happened even before I graduated) out and focused ONLY on the MOST IMPORTANT ONES (as I see it) and I hope, you'll be willing to help me, because not me nor my mother are able in this situation to do or change anything of significance:
I'm COMPLETELY aware, that ANY amount of money you choose to raise for ME and MY MOTHER, will DEFINITIVELY not bring my dog back, much less my physical health but:
Maybe, just maybe it can PREVENT - at least for the time period until I start working again - that because of the HUGE debt my mother and I have to repay because of all my TREATMENT costs, we don't one day find ourselves (I'll say it PLAIN and SIMPLE) without roof "above our heads", because the landlord decided to evict us from our flat.
Believe me, he does not care A BIT, what happened to me (and consequently) to my mother.
He would not hesitate a moment, if the rent would be overdue even only for a SINGLE week.
I don't remember for a VERY LONG TIME NOW, when was the last time, when a SMILE could be seen on my face (and EVERBODY, who knows me even a bit, knows, that I have a big smile & that I smiled a lot, before ALL THIS started to happen!
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE, I'm now I'm on my knees and I DO NOT HAVE THE SLIGHTEST AMOUNT OF ENERGY LEFT (with my mother is even worse - and I think, that it is not difficult to imagine why) !!!Yes, I had many hardships, things, that happened, that I don't wish even my 'enemy to go trough', but somewhere in me is still plenty of energy (yes, currently it's buried deep inside of me) & in spite of EVERYTHING, I'll NEVER FORGET that I'm an EXCELLENT PHYSICIAN (not because I know so much, but because I LOVE what I do - I found my 'calling' VERY LONG AGO & almost everything can be taken away from me, BUT NOT THIS), who just waits for an opportunity, to give something (even if it is little - it is out of my heart) back to the community.
But something is clear - in such a state I'm currently in, I'll PROBABLY FAIL, if I don't receive the help from YOU, HELP, that I'm kindly, out of my heart asking for, to REPAY the debt, that is SOLELY the CONSEQUENCE of the FACT, that after VERY LONG TIME of WAITING (when my life hung - LITERARY - in balance), I received quality treatment, that not "ONLY" saved my life, but also meant, that the first step towards my recovery has been done.
But sadly (as so many times in our lives, which is so fragile - a fact that I start fully realizing only now in this situation I found myself in) AT LAST, with something being treated as it should be, I'm now with my mother in a very difficult and precarious situation:
1. FIRST, there is the money for the DEBT, so that ALL MEDICAL COSTS for the TREATMENT can be PAID (and this is something, that can be done ONLY with YOUR help)!
2. They say, that everything that happens to you is good for something.
Maybe this whole 'ordeal' has warned me SOON enough (before it is too late for effective treatment), that whatever is going on in my body and no matter how 'sinister' it may be, I caught it in time.
I really TRY - with all of my strength - I have still left, to see this in this perspective, but I'm TIRED, physically and physiologically TOTALLY on the ground, because this "bad luck" is going on for too long and I really don't know, how much more I can take it.
There is something, that "bothers" me so, that it is even BEYOND words:
The situation in which my mother got "caught" by 'accident', a person with a huge heart and which is 30 years older than me, has become CRITICAL and she developed Angina because all of the worries (put very mildly) and is NOW (EVERY SINGLE MOMENT - even this one, as I'm writing) in great risk for having a heart attack (I did not speak about that previously, because this is another, though "sad story")!
She DESERVES BETTER, MUCH BETTER than this !!!
BUT, ALL THIS is yet ANOTHER REMINDER, that this time, I won't be able to solve the situation ALONE, whatever I do.
I REALLY NEED YOUR FINANCIAL HELP and I NEED it FAST, before a 'catastrophe' strikes!
Thank You ALL kindly & deep out of my heart in advance (also for taking your time and reading everything to the end)!