Help my Mom fight Cancer

  • US$4,137.00
    raised of $20,000.00 goal goal
20% Funded
38 Donors

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To understand why I've chosen to come on this platform to try and help my mother, I'd have to take you a little further back to perhaps help you understand the journey to this point..

We started out as a close family of 11...Those numbers have severely dwindled in the past few years and we're down to just 3, my Mother, my brother & myself. Everyone since has unfortunately passed.

In 2015 however, we experienced the most devastating loss up to date, the loss of my father. An event that would completely change the trajectory of all our lives as we knew it.

To begin my mother's story, I'd have to start with my dad's, as unfortunately, you'll soon get to realize the direct parallels we find ourselves in years later.

At the beginning of 2014 (March to be specific) my dad began to feel ill, a nasty chest infection had arisen and the local clinic had given a diagnosis of bronchitis. Taking the prescribed medication and moving on with his daily happenings he slowly started to feel a numbing joint pain arise in his arms. He left this for a while summing it all up to possible old-age bone pains, however, the pain had worsened and now traveled into his leg, forcing him to walk on crutches.

We are now only in May of the same year, and my father took himself to the local government hospital, you see, unfortunately, my parents were unable to afford a private medical aid/ medical scheme to see private doctors at private hospitals, the only choice was/is the state-funded government hospitals.. Now by no means was any of this free for my father, but we'll get there.

After his visit to the hospital after "examining" him, he is diagnosed with a pinched sciatic nerve and they discuss the possibility of getting him in for surgery at a later date.

You see, due to overcrowding and minimal resources, these institutions are often only able to help the most diar of cases first before moving along to the next case files. To them, his case could wait. Moving along to July 16th, the public holiday, he was off work and decided to go back to the hospital to wait in line to see if once again he could get assistance as he heard nothing back and no one could give him answers over the phone.

That day, he got to see a doctor that he had never dealt with before, thankfully as this doctor immediately realized the diagnosis does not match the client's history given relating to the situation.. fast forward.. August 18th a diagnosis we had no idea how to grasp at the time, no idea on what was to come. Stage 4 Lung and Bone cancer with no chance of survival.. A death sentence handed so freely to a family in shock. We went from a pinched nerve to a death sentence in less than 4 months of initial "diagnosis"

The worst part was the next bit of news handed to us from the gvt Hospital assisting my father at the time, "We're sorry, we have no beds available for your father" "you will have to take him home, we will give you resources" Now I don't know about you but we weren't doctors and had NO idea what we were dealing with or how to deal with it.. Google helped me most of the way, unfortunately..

It took 7 months from diagnosis for him to pass away, and during that time, our entire lives were turned upside down.. I had moved back in with my mother as I knew this wasn't going to be an easy task.. We initially didn't see my brother much as he was dealing with his own demons in coping with the devastating news, I can't blame him for that, we all react differently to trauma, but that said, it definitely made things a lot harder to manage, from having to take shifts administering morphine every 2 hours 24hours a day, to changing my father's diapers, to having to clean, remove and disinfect the bedsores formed all over his body due to the pain of moving due to the bone cancer, to him completely forgetting who we were and wasting away in front of our very eyes daily..

We struggled to keep up with the never-ending medical bills due to chemo and and and as one could imagine that we ended up having to sell his car during his illness to cover bills, we then had to start selling our furniture, it was a dark time, but we had amazing friends helping along the way. They had all managed to help with a fundraiser that helped raise R8000 at the time, we were so grateful. but the reality was, and i will never forget it, this covered only one of the content array of medical bills flying our way.

See the Gvt hospital is never really "free" they take an average of your earnings per month to see if you have a job and then start billing you. And at the time, my father was employed, as you can imagine, he soon was unable to work after receiving the diagnosis/death sentence.

I remember he was still trying to find legal aid to help assist him in some of the bills received as they seemed extremely excessive for a Gvt hospital, however fell to weak to follow through..We lost the battle in all ways

March 15th 2015...The worst day..
I kissed my dad on the forehead one last time and heard him breathe, making sure he was still alive and left for work.. As I got to work, a mere 30 minutes later I got the call. He was only 55 years old. I've never made it home so fast in my life, I knew my mother would be absolutely broken..And there she was, clinging to her husband, my dads lifeless body, at this point all that remained was what looked like a skeleton wrapped in flesh, that wasn't my dad, nor how I ever wanted to remember him.. Yet it took the ambulance 3 hours to arrive.

For 3 hours I watched my mom cling to what was once my father, that visual never leaves my mind.. How could it, I had to painfully watch it for 3 hours waiting for an ambulance service to arrive. Watching him get covered in a body bag and rolled out was brutal, I knew nothing would ever be the same again, yet I felt so emotionally exhausted at that point I didn't even know how to react to people's "I'm so sorry for your loss" "He's in a better place now" I just wanted it to all go away and figure out what was next for my mom.

A week later, our landlord came over to tell us we had to make arrangements to please move as she knows my mother in unemployed and would not be able to afford the rent of our current home, she was not wrong, however, for the first time in my life I swore at a grown woman due to the shear insensitivity in the words she chose and how she chose to relay them to my mother at the time. We had been through enogh and knew we had an uphill battle to fight as my salary at the time definately wasnt enoth to keep us both afloat.

So we sold nearly everything, all the furniture we owned apart from my & my mothers bed, a few dressing tables and new we had to start fresh, some amazing friends of the family gave my parents a TV in the time my dad was ill due to ours breaking at the time, and we were given a lounge set for our new home, which was another whole mess to find and secure & you'll be here for 6 more hours reading that.

Slowly we healed, or we tried, it's something I don't think you can ever correctly heal from, but we did out best. I stayed with my mom for 2 years after to help her whilst she figuring out a new way of life, one where, for the first time as a 55-year-old former stay at home home mom was going to have to figure out a way to make some extra income and fast.. You see, her pension fund currently covers her rend and leaves with roughly +- R1500 ( $82,87) for the remainder of the month to survive off, and that's just impossible with water & electricity alone.

So she has found a job knitting mats for a company who pays her roughly R120 - R400 per matt depending on how many she can get done with the yarn she is given (These sometimes take days to complete) and she sells creative hand-painted rock for individuals to purchase & put in their gardens/anywhere. She charges R20 -R60 ($1-$3) depending on what size rock you purchase, just to generate an extra income for herself each month.

OK...Finally, lets move forward to now. In 2021 my mom found a lump in her breast and started lactating as a 60-year-old woman. I begged her to see a doctor, but being stubborn and knowing he would have to wait in long ques at the Gvt Clinics, she avoided it hoping it was just a cyst and would go away. Alas, it did not.

Fast forward a few months and we are now in 2022. Her first trip to the clinic was early June where they told my mother that they suspect this is something suspect and will have to get further testing (Biopsy) done at her Zoned Gvt Hospital.. She was then allocated her zoned (they zone the gvt hospitals by area here due to overcrowding so that people from other areas don't add pressure already problematic space issues.

Upon arrival to the hospital she is told that the neighboring hospital and themselves would be dealing with her case as the one hospital deals with certain tests that the other does not have capabilities for.. So now we are told we have to deal with not only 1, but 2 Gvt hospitals. They then tell her sorry they will have to schedule her in to the other hospital for her biopsies. So 1 day already wasted in hospital, as you have to arrive there at no later than 6am to get into the ques to hopefully be helped by around 11am/12pm.

8 Biopsies late, 4 conclusive, 2 inconclusive an additional 2 because they called to say they accidentally lost the results of her previous 2.

In August 2022 she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast Cancer, every week we are no further to starting treatment. Every week is the same painful cycle of her phoning, us phoning, to find out whats going on, her waking up at 4:30am to stand in ques to ask for answers standing in the hospital in tears as no one can tell her when she can start treatment.

The latest information she received this month, 7 almost 8 months after diagnosis and 100 more tests later as the 2 hospitals are simply not complicating at all is that her cancer has now spread to her lymph nodes and possibly onto her sternum(as there is a new black spot there in the latest xrays). They have told her she will need a double mastectomy and to have radiation and chemo therapy but are no where closer to supplying her with any dates as to when they fit her in for surgery as they have to deal once again, with the more severe cases first, as her cancer just sits and spreads.

This is the reason I'm here, pleading with anyone that has the means to help in any way possible, may it be the smallest donation.

I'm hoping for some kind of miracle that this could reach enough people around the world to make somewhat of a difference, Currently, $20 000 would cover the cost of a double mastectomy and the ability to start the chemo and radiation needed. It's going to be an uphill battle from here as she is already extremely stressed about the medical bills coming in from all the tests.

She currently has been unable to switch her geyser on for hot water since Nov as she simply cant afford it and will boil one kettle of hot water and throw in a shalow bath just to wash, she doesnt deserve to be living like this or to be going through this, she has already been through so much and this situation is breaking me apart. My brother & I were able to give her R10 000 last year to assist, but we are also at capacity with how we can financially help.

I would be devastated if I didnt try everything in my power to try and save my mom, my best friend since birth's life. She has been my rock and sunshine through every hard moment of my life and I cant lose her, not to this, not like my dad, I don't think I'd survive round 2, I think it would devastate me beyond repair.

I need my mom to be alive to walk me down the isle one day, to be there when her first grandchild is born. I can't do those important life steps without her.

She is the light of my life, my partner in crime & my pillar of strength through cloudy days.

(She's also hilarious)

Please, help if you can.

Sincerely yours

A Daughter trying to save her mother





































Organizer

Donors

  • Lynn Hoang
  • Donated on May 26, 2023
  • Praying for your mom! This makes me so sad 😞 I really hope for miracles to happen πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ

$1000.00
  • Justin Taylor
  • Donated on May 23, 2023
  • I had no idea you were going through this.. I’m so sorry. Praying for good news πŸ™πŸ½

$100.00
  • Adelene Burger
  • Donated on May 21, 2023
  • Sterkte...πŸ™

$165.00
Jun 05

We finally have an operation date!!

Update posted by Megan Grant at 10:21 am
rrrr

Thanks to everyone's assistance & pressure, we were contacted by the hospital & finally have a date set for step 1! My momma will be going in for her double mastectomy on July 25th.Thank you so much for everyone continued support. It's almost a year after diagnosis and we are

See update
0

Donors &Β Comments

38 donors
  • Lynn Hoang
  • Donated on May 26, 2023
  • Praying for your mom! This makes me so sad 😞 I really hope for miracles to happen πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™πŸ½β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ

$1000.00
  • Justin Taylor
  • Donated on May 23, 2023
  • I had no idea you were going through this.. I’m so sorry. Praying for good news πŸ™πŸ½

$100.00
  • Adelene Burger
  • Donated on May 21, 2023
  • Sterkte...πŸ™

$165.00
  • Anonymous
  • Donated on Apr 30, 2023
  • I pray for your mom. πŸ™

$10.00
  • Clanelle Burger
  • Donated on Apr 07, 2023
  • Love you my friend ! Sister's for life let's save mommy

$20.00
  • T Tapusoa
  • Donated on Apr 02, 2023
  • πŸ™πŸ½πŸ€ Our thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

$100.00
  • Anonymous
  • Donated on Apr 02, 2023
$50.00
  • Austin Ritter
  • Donated on Apr 01, 2023
  • ART & HEALING πŸ€™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌ

$20.00
  • Janet Jackson
  • Donated on Apr 01, 2023
$20.00
  • Lorika Esterhuizen
  • Donated on Apr 01, 2023
  • Baie liefde en blessings

$25.00
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Catharina Adriana de Lange
Kauthar Visser
Janine Combrinck
Lisa Da Luz
Nadja Carstens
Angelica Walters
Michaela Lloyd
US$4,137.00
raised of $20,000.00 goal
20% Funded
38 Donors

No more donations are being accepted at this time. Please contact the campaign owner if you would like to discuss further funding opportunities