Hello! My name is Barbara, I am a brazilian girl who recently turned 25 and for a long period of time I have a dream. Along the years I have had the time to mature and modify this dream along with my personal growth. I feel like now it's the moment to do everything in my power to achieve it. I feel ready. I am ready.
For you to understand and maybe identify or empathize with this fundraising campaign, you'll need to know a little bit more about my story. So here it goes:
I love languages, cultures, people, places, nature... I love what the world has to offer and I see an opportunity to grow in everything. I love learning and I love teaching. I think everyone has the potential to make you a better and wiser person.I live in Rio de Janeiro, with my mother, grandmother and younger sister. My family dynamics is not easy at all; my mother has drinking problems, my grandmother fights depression and my younger sister is just very different from me, very immature and conformed with what she has; conformed with being settled. My family does not understand my need for freedom, for exploration, for living today like there is no tomorrow.
My biological father has never spoken a word to me, even though I have passed through him at the street several times. He means nothing to me. When my mother got pregnant he asked for a DNA test, because that's how much he didn't want anything to do with me. Luckily, my sister's father raised me as his own daughter and even though for a while he and my mother have been separated, he still considers me his daughter. That man has a heart of gold and gave me the chance not to have my heart broken everytime anyone asked me if I had a father. My father now lives in a farm (because of his job), away from the city and with almost no form of communication.
Even with all of these situations, I love my family very much and I am very grateful for having them in my life. For all the love that I have. I am very grateful for everything that I have and many people don't. A roof over my head, a family, clear water, food. I am very grateful. But it's time for me to leave. It's time for me to live the way I want to.
So, ok. I graduated as a Psychologist recently and I want to help people everywhere I go, in any way that I can. I think that you truly learn from life, from experience. Books are just theory. 1 hour conversation with someone can change your life. People inspire me. I wanna inspire them. I want to help those who have nothing to have something. Everyone should feel like they matter. I have been looking for volunteering projects all over the world for years and it felt to me just like another distant dream, but last year something happened.
In 1993, when I was only two, a judge deferred that when my biological father retired I'd have the right to 15% of his contract termination. I never even thought or knew of that. It came as a hit when the lawyer called. I was working 15 hours a day in a hostel that time, some weeks with no day off, and I was starting to get really sad because I wasn't being able to save money for my trip (which was the highest point of working there), so this was a breeze of fresh air. I was finally close to making my dream come true! Unfortunately, things weren't and aren't so easy. Justice in Brazil is a mess. I have a public defender. My biological father has a very famous company lawyer. The judge had decided to grant me my right but his lawyer appealed; judge went back on her decision with the allegation that I was 24 and graduated (just for the record, I hadn't legally graduated yet and also, have you heard of brazilian economy? 24 means nothing. It's not my fault he decided to retire when I was that age!). So I was devasted. I appealed and now we have been on this judicial fight for over 8 months. I had my trip planned and part of the money I was gonna use to go in a master's course. Now I am just terrified that I will actually lose everything. I put my life on hold, I have so many great things that I wanna experience. I am sinceely afraid of the frustration it can bring me. Still, I try to think positive and find lternatives that could help me get what I want.
This is how I got here. I don't want or need a lot of money. I plan on taking 15-hour road trips, couchsurf my way into places and meet my many friends spread around the globe. I want to volunteer as much as I can, with everything and everywhere. I speak portuguese, english, spanish (I want to perfect it during my trip since I chose South and Central America to go) and I am learning dutch by myself. I am not afraid of getting my hands dirty and I am up to challenges.
I know that are some people with more specific dreams or wishes than mine, maybe some will consider them more important and I understand. What I ask is just to consider all of this I wrote here because it came from all of my heart and soul. Do not undervalue my dream. Please, help me make it come true!
If you got until here, I really appreciate the patience to read my story. Best of luck to you all.