Help me want to live and be happy again

Hello, world.  My name is melissa.  I ha no idea where to even start here with my story but I'm going to try.  When I was 15 I moved away from my parents and in with my bf at the time. I was so young,  and stupid. Long story short,  the relationship was very abusive. When I finally decide to leave him,  I found out that I was pregnant.  I left him anyways but I was so scared and lost.  On Dec 15, 2013 he committed suicide.  It's been a very hard battle for me since then.  I'm broken inside and out and it's so hard to find happiness and joy in life after all of this.  I need counseling,  but can't afford it, I'm a single mother of a beautiful little girl,  but I'm so heart broken and hurry that I cant find joy in parenting . I'm asking for help to please get me caught up on bills so that I can get the counseling I need,  support my daughter,  and maybe get a cheap car. This is so hard for me.  I wish you could hear the pain in my voice and see the hurt in my eyes as I'm typing this. Please help