The person to love or the future (husband or wife) is it the one you came from the same tribe, originates from the same place, same race, does love consider money? Rwandan history (tribalism, regionalism then hatred that brought genocide) are bringing bad effects to young generation. Even though we are under process of unity and reconciliation, tribalism, regionalism is till people’s heart that a Hutu cannot marry Tutsi and vice versa. I going through that battle from 2014 (Hutu, Tutsi, Northern, Southern) for three years so I want to overcome it such way that family members, colleagues, employers, friends, all Rwandan have to know that LOVE (someone to marry do not consider TRIBE, REGION, RACE,...) Wedding is over but I am having difficulties (a gap because it was self-supported wedding).
My name is MAHORO Patient, I am Rwandan and I am 32 years old.
Over the year 2014 I come to meet a lady who at the first sight we fall in love but contrary to my family's wish since they wanted me to marry a cousin of mine who nowadays live in Texas. After knowing this fiancé of mine, my dad told me to separate with her or he gather the family members to chase me out of the family if I do not separate with my fiancé but behind there was my sister and mam who wanted me to marry the cousin who is in Texas first because she is a cousin second that I will meet her in Texas living abroad which they think it will give me a opportunity to get money an understanding of many African that living abroad equal being rich since they do as they could to go in foreign countries even they take the risk of crossing the ocean where many of them sink most of the time. On my side, I didn't accept because I loved my fiancé too much and she loves me so much also and love cannot be bought with money or anything else and we decided to get married in whatever situation, losing the work, being hated by the family friends and colleagues. When the family gathered for that sake the reason that was given to me was that my fiancé was originated in a Hutu family idea from tribalism issues the same as the one which brings Rwanda to 1994 genocide against Tutsi but also, they told me that she comes from Southern province while me I come from the Northern province, two province that are having a rival understanding to political issues.
My fiancé born on a Tutsi father and Hutu mother and my family didn't want me to marry her because she originated from mother Hutu while I am Tutsi. Third, the origin is also an issue because we originated in two different regions of Rwanda (Southern and North-West) due to historical politic issues. My dad first prohibited me in April 2015, in May 2015 the family gathered up to now I am rejected by the family at the point that in December 2016 I did introduction and dowry but they didn't participate even when I was inviting people my dad uses to sent messages telling people to do not come to my ceremony after my message inviting people.
This involved different people (family members, colleague at work and at school, leader at work, friends) who at their side supported my dad saying I have to do not marry my fiancé since their view were the same as that of my father because it is base of culture belief that we are to marry people from our tribe (Hutu to Hutu and Tutsi to Tutsi). We work in the same institution with my father but in different branches this brought my leader to tell me that if I marry that lady I will be expelled from work since it is because him that they gave me that work but I didn’t mention on that since I decided to marry a lady I love a whatever cost (missing the work, marrying without family support, being expelled from family, losing my friends…..) This brought some of my friends who were to escort me over the wedding deceive me at the last minute because my father terrify some of them like he uses to terrify me at the work, in society by any mean since my sister, when it was the time for introduction and dowry she took my friends contact and gave them to my dad to prohibit them to participate to my wedding, as my dad is a pastor but also an old they obeyed to him even those one who would accompany me in those ceremony wearing the same colors clothes didn’t come even some who promised me to come at the last minute didn’t come then I arranged myself putting on clothes to other peoples. At last requested the pastor who were to bless my wedding to do not bless it and he agrees and informed me when it was time to register the wedding at the church, after realizing that he refused I then went to my fiancé church it is where we got registered and the top leader at our work is the one who blessed my wedding since his view on that sake was different from that of my dad and many other people from my region (Let me mention that I and my father work for the same religious denomination only on different branches).
My father after realizing that he has to do nothing on my decision, he told that I will not found a pastor to bless my wedding since he will tell them to do not bless it saying that I disobey him by marrying a lady that he don’t want. In response to this case of a pastor I look at a pastor who does not originate in Northern province since he would share understanding with my father. From the introduction, dowry only one Aunt, three cousins came in my wedding while in my family we are 9 brothers and sisters, father and mother but my father told to my brother that whoever came to my wedding he will no longer be his father even schooling will stop. My father is considered to be in three elders of the family this brings the remaining part of the family to do not come since it would be disobeying the elder of the family. My Aunt decided to take risk even my father told her that he is no longer going to consider her as sister. My journey was a struggle that I decide to marry even I will be only with the pastor and my fiancé only.
Finally, on March 19th, 2017, I had the wedding blessed but from the introduction and dowry and wedding itself I am empty pocket because of wedding expenses without the family support even my salary is being taken by my employer since they gave an advance salary to support the wedding and I had a loan also from the bank (5 years bank loan) which mean a part of my salary is for my employer the remaining for the bank from April 2017 I don’t get anything as salary. Before I procced the process wedding my thought was that my dad and family will help me after realizing that I refused to separate with that fiancé of mine but still in vain and from above reasons I requesting for a help since from everywhere I was planning to get a support I came to meet doors were closed for the issues that I listed above. Wedding passed well but I remain with obligations to third party (debts to be paid)
1. The beneficiaries of your support are my family because the donation will help us to make a coverage of obligation to third parties build our bright future but also other people who directly or indirectly will benefits from our family (those are: family members, colleagues, friends and all people who will run to us for any need)
2. The fund will be used to step forward after wedding like provisions needed by the new family.
3. Once the fund is available it will serve as compensation for gap from the wedding also make a better economical climate to the family and other people who depends on us.
4. We will be grateful from the bottom of our heart as a family but also people who will hear us saying about that miracle of getting a support from you.
5. I will personally be grateful to your organization for taking me out of a very deep pit from which me, my family and anyone was not able to pull me out of it. I will also let other people know about your generosity activities of helping peoples in need like me.
Even though I get married but also, I am having a bachelor degree in accounting kept by the university because I completed all the requirement at the university studies with a $500 loan to the university which prevent me to withdraw the degree. I am planning to pursue my studies but I don’t know how and when? Above questions will be answered when I get your support. In different issue that my family has to deal with include my studies.
Finally, I came to see your website when I was looking to a charitable organization to support me, also doing a research since I am planning to start a project called education for all, it will be an education to the benefits of adults Rwandan who did not get the chance to study at their schooling age because of the history of Rwanda (School where reserved to leaders’ children, some people where chassed from school due to their tribe, poverty also prevented some to do not go to school finally a small number of schools all over the country that all would not access them.
I may not fit in the objectives of the charitable activities that you perform due to targeted group but anyone from anywhere can help me or you can promote my sake to get a help for me. Weren’t the need I would not get interested in looking at charitable organizations website on line.
I am waiting forward to your help to my family since in February next year we are waiting even to a baby.