Help me to meet the Psychologist

Hello everyone, i would like to introduce myself. my name is Devina and I'm 22 years old from Indonesia. actually i never doing something like this, i feel embarrassed to tell it but i have no choice and I'm stuck. I've been struggling with my depression almost 4 years, I was trying to suicide more than 3 times in several years, i got abused from my ex bf that makes my depression even worst last year.

there's some people said I'm just being too dramatical. it's hard to find a people who believe that depression can kill many people. if you really understand about having a mental illness and depression, it's really hard to say something including your feelings.

i also having a seriously paranoia, that makes me have a fear to socializing, study, and get a real job. it make me stuck with my condition right now, i lost my jobs several times because of this problem, i don't want to lose anything again. i live alone without my family, they divorced when i was 16 yo and after they divorced, they're not really care about my life. this problem seriously take my career, friendship, and my relationship.

I'm just doing an online shop in social media which is the only thing that works on me and feel more comfortable to do something for living and pay my rent. I've been in the worst time these past years, cause my depression is getting worst and I can't meet the psychologist because the money that i get it's only enough for food and paying rent.

I'm here because i need some help to go see a psychologist to get a diagnosis, so i can tell my parents about my disorder and prove them that i need them so much. i want to they're realize that they shouldn't ignore they kids and they should be more care.

every $1 you'll fund to me, i will appreciate it so much. please help and fund me to get better. i promise i will let you guys know after i can go to the psychologist in here by sending you the diagnosis to prove it that im not lying or scamming you :)

you can contact me personally by email, [email protected]