How much is your biggest dream worth?
Do you know what a dream is?
Do you still dream?
Do you know what you want for your life for the future?
Do you know where you want to be in a year?
Do you know what to believe in something with all your power?
Do you believe that something or moment can change your whole life?
Are you still alive?
My history started 32 years ago when I was born, things haven't been easy but I believe each one has a purpose in this world, and mine started last year ...
My mother was extremely poor, even with all the love she felt for me, she gave me to another family that had better conditions and had food, a lot of food to give me ... I have grown up in this family but never stopped Loving her as my mom. In reality I felt really happy for being different and having two moms, it was really cool to me. Years have gone by, my grandma and my foster mom gave me education, food and a simple wooden house, and they gave their best to give me the best that they could, rain would go through the roof, the walls were cracked and the rooten wood wouldn't help that much to our comfort, but that was all that they could give me, and my foster mom decided to give me a good paid education and we could still be living in that insecure situation, living along with rats and other animals ... But I grew up, I had a childhood as the other kids, with insecurity, dreaming, getting beat up by other kids, but life went by and everything was fine. In 2008 my grandma passed away, things have changed a little, it was not fair, our finances improved a little, but she was not there to enjoy the new life, that killed me, one of my supergirls had passed away, forever.
She picked my name, I'm Sabrina because there was a tv show called "Charlie's Angels" or "The Panthers" in english, she loved that tv show and I love my name. Well, but I didn't say that three years prior my biologic mom was diagnosed with a terrible disease, we had found out that she was really sick, and in 2010 I lost my second supergirl. After closing that coffin nothing has been the same in my life, I lost contact with my sisters from that day on and a cycle was brutaly closed, that even today it seems imcompreheensive to me. On that day I said farewell to my sisters and we've never talked again, as if that death had broken our links, we have spent 5 years without talking to each other. Until that one day I've received a call ... It was one of my sister wanting to know if I was interested in meeting my niece. The niece? She was just a few days alive and she was in an orphanage, because my sister was 15 years old and she would use drugs and didn't have any conditions of raising that kid. The justice would take her forever, but out of nowhere my sister took care of my niece, and so justice decided that the baby could stay with my other sister. We kept in touch with each other. Even though living in four different cities and each one with its difference.
I finished my law degree, did a specialization in the area of entrepreneurship, today I do my second degree which is a technologist in environmental management. I traveled to some countries and these trips made me know a new world, more colorful and not so hard. It was time, wasn't it ?!
Until last year I discovered Turkey, already at the airport I saw a beautiful drawing on a sign and found that it would be a mosque, inside the airport, holy shit, I needed to know what a mosque felt like, and decided to follow the path until I found it, and so it was, I took off my shoes, went in and didn't understand very well, just sat on the floor and prayed a little, there I didn't think if I was wrong or right, I just prayed, which I haven't done since my girls were gone ... it was a mix of emotion, I can't tell. I went to know a country and eventually found my place, found that before that July 24th my life had another meaning, my beliefs, my dreams, my goals, that my life of just waking up and sleeping without a reason was ending there. I met a boy who introduced me all over town, and took me for ice cream, (definitely eating ice cream makes me very happy), learned to go to the supermarket, walk downtown, shops, parks by myself and try to make food to repay all. kindness this boy did for me, I was a disaster, he hated it, but he ate, it was fun to see the face of disappointment in eating something so bad, but it was like I could cook in Brazil, anyway ... ahahahahahha
I spent my days alone but living day by day with that culture, learned how to make tea and got used to taking it every day. Until one day he took me to meet a mosque in another city, told me it was a big mosque and I was looking forward to that moment. From then on nothing was the same in my life, having entered that place made me feel something inexplicable, it felt like a movie had started, I imagine that even when people think they are going to die, I think it must have been like that. Intense, emotional, strong, and that “colored scarf” on my head, wrapped the wrong way I could (since I didn't know how to use it, had never used it in my life before), it was beautiful, we sat on the floor and it started showing me things, I lay down and looked up, forgot about life, the world, everything. There I was born again, and he didn't even notice. The days went by and I said that I just didn't want to leave all that, which had actually ceased to be a common trip, but it became something incredible, a new outlook on life that I had. I met a lot of people, including a homeless man who stood in front of a fruit tree, he really liked my Brazilian T-shirt and he spoke in Brazil x Mexico, I think for an allusion to some game I had seen in my life, but the The thing is, he didn't understand me, I didn't understand him, but my t-shirt and the cookies I gave him were enough to smile and try to make a contact, that was very cool and unforgettable, I don't know if he remembers me, and I don't remember your face either, but I hope that our few days of meaningless word exchange will never be lost in my memory.
I learned that Turks, Arabs, Lebanese, Syrians, Afghans, Pakistanis, Iranians ... are not bomb men, I translate the word "bomb" as ignorance of those who do not know and do not seek to know the richness and beauty that all these cultures have. , each totally independent of the other, deserving respect as much as mine, as well as yours. I learned in school, and in the books about Constantinople, and when would I think I would know this in real life, and beyond the words and tests so difficult that the teacher applied to me at the end of semesters? I knew a little bit of Turkey, the money did not give everything, but it doesn't matter, I think I lived what should be lived. I took every minute, every second, and I asked God to let me have a second chance, that I could come back and stay a little longer, because in fact the feeling I had was that I didn't want to leave, don't ask me for which reason I just felt something special.
The days passed and the day came to return to Brazil, I packed my things, said goodbye to that home, and went to the train, my beloved train, which took me every day to walk alone around the city, I arrived at the stop, I told the boy it was time to go and he came to say goodbye, it was a bit sad, I cried a lot and he said it was time to go back and everything would be fine, he gave me a huge snack and my favorite drink, Uludag and the bus left ...
Minutes later I arrived at the airport, checked my bags, and sat waiting for my flight schedule, time passed, passed, passed, and everything was delayed, and when I arrived in Istanbul my plane had already left for Brazil, I begged, that I could run , who would arrive at the terminal in time, had already told the boy that he did not want my bags or anything, just get the plane to return, even without anything. He said, "I'm sorry."
I stopped, breathed, and some tears fell, I tried to argue in the airlines, but that delayed said I had nothing to do, they laughed at my situation, and then I realized I had nothing to do. No internet, no money, nothing to help me at that moment.
Anyway, leaving my bags was not the smartest thing to do, I picked them up and went to sit somewhere in the airport, hours passed until a lady approached and we started talking with difficulty, she called a young couple who they were passing and from then on things started to get better, they understood my situation and gave me internet. 3 angels I've had in my life, believe me, angels exist, I saw it!
I texted my friends in Brazil and warned the boy who had missed my plane. He asked me what happened, calmed me down and said he would buy a ticket for me to return home until he got another ticket to Brazil again, asked me to wait, and minutes later said he had good and bad news, the good thing was that I got the ticket and the bad it would be for the other day, that I would have to sleep at the airport, but that sounded like music to me, I still had the food he gave me, and had bathroom water to drink , so it would be fine. I was happy! My angels went their ways and I will be eternally grateful to the three for staying with me all that time and helping me. I found a place to stay and there between naps and waking hours I spent the next few hours until my return flight arrived. I took the plane and thanked God for all that, after all, some reason had, did not know which, but had. I arrived back in town and he told me the keys would be in the market where we were going to buy food, I took the keys and went back to his house. This time without him ... two days earlier, the day we said goodbye he went to his parents' house, staying with them before going to the army, meaning now I wouldn't be alone just during the days, I would be alone all the time ...
He explained to me how I should do things and act, advised me not to go to places I had never been to, and not to take any other driving directions than I had learned, and that a few hours later he would call me to say goodbye to me. , again.
I told her I was already safe, took a shower, and slept, tiredness beat me. Then I got the call from the second farewell, he said to take care of me and that from then on we would not have contact, that if I came back to Brazil to have a good trip or if I would then give me a “see you later”, I wished good luck, and there the call is over. I was alone.
It was about 20 days living in a totally different country, with letters and words written everywhere and I didn't understand anything, I met amazing people who helped me on the streets, or where I needed it, I went for a walk and it took 30 minutes until the park, sitting there and looking at everything, praying a lot, my faith was awakened and I no longer felt alone, I understood that God was with me, and that he always listened to me, so much I asked for a second chance to stay one more. little bit, and so I lost my plane. Everything fell into place, the puzzle was assembled, it all happened to make me realize that I wasn't alone, that God listened to me all the time, in everything I asked, and I begged.
Days alone, strange noises, nights without knowing what it would be the other day ...
My faith moved me, guided me, and protected me.
And then one of these days, I went to the university near my house and asked to meet, a boy explained to me that there were many foreigners there and that I had a chance to study there, and those words sounded like music, I went to the site and saw that would have no more deadline, but the same, a hope to return would open that sunny afternoon.
I was able to buy my ticket back with the help of my friends in Brazil. And coincidentally, or not, it would be for a week after he would be back, that is, I would still have time to tell all my adventures alone for all these days ...
Between laughter and tears of joy that I was living, I watched time pass, until the day I received his message saying that I was coming home.
I wanted to tell everything. From the day I got lost, from my shopping afternoons trying on Turkish clothes, from my walks in the parks, from my attempts to talk to my fruit buddy, from my saga to find a weighing scale in the pharmacy, from the Latin party I had I found out that I had only latina, the photos I took, the sunset I saw every day, the food I made up, the ice cream I drank, the sound of the mosque I already sang together without understanding anything. I was saying, and the bright sunshine hitting the dome that enchanted me every late afternoon.
And when he arrived it was cool, we laughed and told him everything that had happened during those days.
I stayed for another week, and it was time for the third and "definitive" farewell. All the same, but this time I caught my plane. It was hard to say goodbye to Turkey from heaven, but I had to keep the memories only in my heart, no longer in my eyes. I saw a light, something among the clouds, and felt my mother, who lived there in the sky.
It was intense and special, and there I said if God wanted me to go back to Turkey one day again.
The days went by and I started to think it would be nice to work in a place where I saw different people every day and could help people like I was helped there, where can I find such a service? In the airport. I started the airport agent course to work in my city, started school and saw the student girls in their uniforms, and decided to do the flight attendant course. And why not ... fly ??
I graduated on May 19 this year, happy and accomplished to take such a complete and intense course, the most intense of my life, tuned, had so many meanings ....
I applied for a job at the airport in my city, spent a few days and sent me an email stating that we would have an interview and that we should bring an object that would represent us. I took the most special object I have, a kind of Turkish “third” he gave me the day before he left, I take him with me at the most beautiful, joyful or difficult time of my life, and there in the interview would be no different. That was my object, the object that had the material representation of all my faith.
My turn came, I told a little about myself and talked about my object and its importance, where it came from and everything. My time was up and I sat down to listen to the next candidate, got up a nice little girl, and when she started talking the tears started to run down my face automatically, for a simple reason she was Turkish. Tell me now, what chance would that happen? I go for a job interview and meet a real turkish person ???? I think it would be easier for me to win the lottery. We looked at each other and our friendship was born, even today. And the result of the vacancy? She got the job and I didn't! Hahahahahahahahaha ... Destiny? Do not know. But I wish her the best way, that she be as happy as I was there in her country.
We met and told everything I lived there, told a little of our stories and said that soon I would return to Turkey, this time as a student, because I really wanted to learn the Turkish language and live more fully that culture and place that awakened me to life again.
And it will be.
Do not judge cultures, religions, options, do not judge others. You do not know the life he lives, you do not know his past, what he went through to get there, his beliefs, his perception of life, his teachings, his references, accept that we are all important, do not disregard, not badly. Treat the next you have the option to choose to do evil, or do good. Life is nothing more than a mirror where we reflect what we think and what we do, but I also think that we are in a huge ferris wheel, where good and bad days are a consequence of our ups and downs on the path of life.
Fight for what you believe, fight for your dreams, don't let your life go by without even feeling that something you did was worth it, feel the cold in your belly, and smile.
Do good, whoever you are, and sometimes it doesn't even involve money, on a good day ...
Be grateful for the food, the job, the opportunities, the hope of having a new day to change things, thankful for living ...
Believe that all you desire with your heart will be achieved ...
“Is the child you were proud of who you are today?”
My dream is to help others, help and protect those close to me.
If you have read this far, you are really interested in my story, and you understand that I will not give up as long as I have the strength to do so.
I want to study in Turkey for as long as the course gives me, but this is not cheap, I go as a student and I will not be able to work, so I need to keep up.
Would you like or could you help me with 5 dollars? (if that's not going to be a problem in your finances)
Come on!!! Help a friend!