Help me to get antidepressants and benzodiazepines

Hello! My name's Ally and I'm 21 year old. When i was 16 I was diagnosed with depression due to school bullying and I've been takin' strong medicine since then. I don't really want to remember about it again but i did horrible and stupid things to my body and myself but then i've got proffesional help.

It was all good and I lived happy live until my family started blaming me that I faked everything. After almost 5 years...It started 6 month ago and now I'm getting a panic attacks almost everyday after i talk to them and hear not pleasant things. You can't even imagine how it is to hear a nasty and insulting things from the people you love and call your FAMILY.

I have a hysterics, heart palpitations, cramps, loud cries and sometimes it happens in the middle of the night. I live with my boyfriend and he pays for rent and food, works everyday to keep me healthy and good feeling. Sometimes when I pay for MY medicine WE don't have money for a food and a bus, and my family won't help us because, as i said before, they claim that i faked everything to have their attention. I started working this month so it could be easier for me and my boyfriend. Since i have panic attacks I don't get enough sleep and don't look very good and some of my colleagues keep trying to pull me down. I work with people and sometimes they call me and blame our company for doing our jobs wrong (like when their internet is working slowly and not working at all) and that moment a panic attack might start in front of other people i barely know. I'm still learning how to control that, it's not that easy for me at that time.

I've been working a model for a year but i worked 2-3 days a week and got 2 $ per hour = usually it's 4$ a day = 25$ per month.

Now i have a new psychiatrist that diagnosed me a deep depression and confirmed my panic attacks. The medicine for it costs even more than before and we don't have anyone to help but you guys. Every dollar counts and it might help me to save a life. I'll be very touched if you help me to raise at least 50$, thank you guys so much.

You can contact me personally if you have any questions. Here's my Twitter: https://twitter.com/selenlys
I'm so sorry for my grammar, i'm non-english speaker.