Hi. I am a 32-year-old woman desperately needing help to get on the right track.
I have mood and anxiety disorders that greatly limit my ability to work. However, that does not stop me from trying because the bills (like health insurance, groceries and phone/internet bundled bill) won't pay themselves. Every day, I wake up at 8:30am and visit Indeed.com, FlexJobs.com, Craigslist, review the 7-8 daily email job alerts I receive. Additionally, once a week, I call the five staffing agencies with which I'm registered to let them know I am available to work. I also try to network, but I did not make many friends during my school years.
I live with an abusive parent, on whom I must depend. She does not understand my illnesses and does not want to. I have begged her to go to counseling with me. She has refused. Sometimes, I just want to hear "I understand" or "I'm sorry you are feeling this way." However, what I hear is "I don't give a f*** what happens to you" and "there's nothing for you to be sad about." Growing up, she ripped the hair from my head twice, beat me with wire hangers while I was naked, beat me with extension cords, punched me. And she made sure that I never trusted anyone but her, telling me my friends didn't really like me. Only she did. And I believed it, thus never straying far from her. I never lacked for anything material. But the physical, emotional and mental abuse was always present. Always.
But with my being an adult, while no doubt still affected by my upbringing, my mother can't be at fault forever. I don't want to lean on "well, I had a tough childhood, so I'm off the hook." No. It breaks my heart that if I had children this very day, I'd have nothing to offer them but love. I have nothing - no job, no place, no car, no income, no family.
That's what has prompted this campaign. I want to be able to start a website aimed at giving a voice to those who suffer these illnesses, to address the stigma and to eventually compose an e-book that helps parents understand how to approach their relationships with children (even adult children) who are affected by mental health issues. I also want to encourage those who do suffer mental health issues to not give up, to understand that while they are limiting, they are not the end.
I ask for $500.00 because I simply cannot afford the costs of hosting a website. There are free options, but the free versions are very limited in functionality. And if I'm going to do this, I feel I need to do it right. What is left over from the $500.00 (hosting costs between $200-$300) would help me survive the rest of this month. I can survive off of $600.00 because I am living on the minimum until I can afford otherwise, so what's left over after buying a domain would do wonders for me and hopefully sustain me until I find a job. I know that my website won't make me money anytime soon; that's why a job is absolutely crucial to me while I build the website.
Thank you so much for the time you took to read this. I really appreciate your help more than I can say.