Hi, I'm Kristine. My current life right now is quite toxic. After graduating from college, like any other fresh grads, I didn't really have any idea where to go. I tried finding a job that is aligned to what I graduated in college but then I figured out it wasn't what I wanted to do in my life. I was exhausted, I got sick, I was stressed, my salary does not pay off my hardwork at all, for me it was hellish. Overall, I was not happy. Even when I was still studying, I knew already it wasn't a path I wanted to take but I wasn't really brave enough to pursue what I wanted because I knew my parents would be disappointed, and more importantly, we cannot afford what I wanted.
If you ask, what is that I want to become? My secret dream is to become a designer and an artist. Currently, I am working at home as an online virtual assistant and a freelance writer. I have a job but I wasn't really satisfied and my family thinks that am wasting away my life. Truth is, I have known to myself that I am going through depression. I am not sure if my family knows but I am. The signs are there. I see it, I feel it. Working at home worked best for me because I was afraid... of people, i don't take rejection too well and I was always so anxious of the outside world. It actually started when I entered college and It got worse as I got older to the point that my confidence reached rock bottom. I couldn't find where I would belong, and I have always been so reluctant of trying new things and getting out of my safe zone. For me, there is nothing more agonizing and painful than feeling hopeless and helpless. I have always doubted myself and I cannot gather strength to believe that I can do things.
People are telling me that I am a talented person. I also think that I am but, I just do not know where I belong. I am just a lost sheep, so I opted to stay where it is familiar. However, I realized that I am not getting any younger and opportunities are running out. One day, it came to me that I wanted to get out of my safe zone. I have always felt that I am limited. At home, I always felt that I am always the one that always has to adjust, say yes to whatever people ask me to do and always the one to give way. I just wanted to live my life alone this time,so i will know myself more and start living for myself.
After all of the years of thinking, I realized that I would feel happy and free if I get out of here. So it came to me, I wanted to get out of the country. I want to go far and start finding myself. And Japan is the best place for that. I recently found a program that helps people study and work there at the same time but the costs to go there is a lot for me. I am currently working hard to save enough money for me to be able to go there.
Did you ever had that moment in your life when you suddenly thought of and realized that it is something that you must do and if you have done it, everything will fall right to place?It occurred to me that it might be that something that will change my life, and how I will see my life. I saw it at a moment when life seemed to flash forward. It was instantaneous but it was the push that I have been waiting for for a long time. Help me realize that dream. I really want to fix myself.
i made this campaign in hopes of helping me realize that dream. I still have hope that I will be able to find myself and will be able to do what I love. although I know there are better campaigns to support but, I was just hoping that there are still some people who wanted others to succeed and help boost their morale and encourage others to live and be happy and to go for their dreams.
For those who understand me and where I am coming from, I thank God for people like you. We all have miseries that we face. We all have our own perspectives in life. We all have our time for success, and we all have our own way of living. As for me, my heart works best for the things I love. Life is indeed short to be doing the things that don't make you happy.