Help Me Move Out & Build A Life

My name is Lilith, and I am nineteen years old. I created this campaign in order to acquire funds that will allow me to leave my childhood home and start building a life of my own. I currently live between my mother and father, and I have limited options when concerning decent employment and living arrangements due to lack of reliable transportation, work experience, and qualifying relationships (in terms of living together.) It sounds bad, I know, but these circumstances are due to a lifetime of chronic illness (myself and family members) and financial insecurity. You see, my family is highly susceptible to mental illness and a multitude of physical illnesses such as heart defects, and this adds an immense drain on our already low income. I myself was born with paranoid schizophrenia, which is why I am in such a position as this. My disease destroyed the foundation for my life. It took my health, my education, my relationships, my reputation, and almost led to my death countless times. My mind and body have suffered irreversible damage from the constant stress I endured for a lifetime, and I will never get that time back. Neither will the people that suffered along with me. My family has spent a considerable amount in the last two years to get me into treatment finally and put me back together. Due to the state I was in when I started treatment, I was not expected to improve for several years, but I was officially diagnosed as residual (meaning my symptoms are no longer constant and I can more or less live normally) a few months ago. While I am still in critical recovery, I now have a clear mind, control, and hope for a future I almost had taken from me. But I have been left with very little to build on. With my illness having developed so quickly, so soon, my childhood and teenage years were wasted in a hellish mental state, and I was unable to acquire the proper experience to function as a successful adult. I cannot find work or attend college, and given that my family is also financially poor and have their own struggles, I cannot rely on them to help me onto my feet. I turned to camming as a last resort in order to pay my expenses and save for my future, but it will be many months before I am able to make enough to leave. Having already lost so much time, I am afraid of losing anymore. I am ready to live, really live. Now that my mind is healthier, I actually have ambitions, desires; something I have never experienced before. I want to travel, go to school and learn about the mind, be with my beloved partner, and get a job so that one day I can help my family. I want to be apart and give back to the world that I felt for so long I didn't deserve. I want to create a life that will make up for the 17-18 years that were wasted, that brought nothing but pain to me and the people I love. I don't want to stay in this shitty little room anymore, where all my worst memories are carved into the walls. I don't want to strain my family anymore. I don't want to lose the people in my life now, because I can't keep up with them in life. This is why I'm pushing aside my pride and asking for help. I don't want to lose anymore time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and for your help, whether through donations, sharing, or even words of encouragement or advice. I will try my best to give back what I can to show my gratitude, though I know this is a debt I can never fully repay...Except maybe one day when I'm a rich psychologist. lol :)

You can contact me personally through @[email protected] and my twitter https://twitter.com/pinchofmischief for any questions or general feedback.