Hello! I am a 24, soon to be 25, year old girl. I live in my mother's house after university left me feeling like a complete failure and I work a job that unfortunately does not pay me enough to move out.
From the physical abuse in my childhood to the emotional abuse that I still have to go through, my mother has never shown any affection towards me whatsoever. I am tired of being treated like a dumb kid, of her constantly making fun of me or my weight, telling me what a bad person I am and hearing her reproaches over and over, making her incapable of talking normally to me, ever. She has never asked me how I am feeling, I could never tell her my secrets or my happy moments in life like other girls do and she treated my depressed self like I am crazy or just lazy, verbally abusing me and making me feel worse than I already felt. This year I decided to look for a better job and move out but due to COVID-19 I couldn't find one, being jobless for 8 months before I finally came back to the workplace I had before. Unfortunately, the rent in my town is high, making it 3/4 of my entire salary and thus I cannot afford to move out. I am all alone, I do not have anyone to ask for financial support from but I feel that, with every day that passes, my mental state is getting worse and worse until I can take it no more. In order to prevent something bad happening I am coming here shamefully to ask for any amount of money, be it 1 or 1000 that could help me find a place where I could live alone away from my family.
In addition to that, in order to not feel like I am an internet beggar, I am also looking for a job good enough to pay my rent without starving for the rest of the month.
I know I'm not the only one in this situation but this is the only way I can get some help. I cannot afford therapy, I'm all alone and it's impossible to think straight under these circumstances. Please forgive me.