Just 3 days before my 45th birthday, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl by C-section. I cried tears of joy when the doctor placed her sweet little face next to mine and I held her for the very first time. 10 months later, her patterns of sleep and activity are the same as when she was in my womb. She and I share a profound connection, an indelible bond.
Mine was a high risk pregnancy due to age and multiple fibroids (which run in my family). The fibroids make for an irregular uterus which put the pregnancy at even higher risk. I went into the hospital for premature labor 3 times and was kept there once for 3 days of monitoring. You can imagine how afraid I was of losing my precious angel. As a photographer, I had to stop working which brought my business to a halt.
All during the pregnancy, I took care of myself, took vitamins, ate healthy, and drank 90 ounces of water a day to keep my uterus hydrated and my baby safe. I prayed every day for the strength of my pregnancy and the safety of my baby. I was placed on bed rest for the last trimester. I am a hard-working, self-employed, self-made woman. I sacrificed my business for the sake and safety of my only child because I wanted her more than anything on this earth. During the pregnancy, I started a writing business in hopes that after her birth, it would become lucrative and I could spend my time at home writing and taking care of her.
I planned for her entrance into this world. I educated myself as much as I could by reading everything I could get my hands on to ensure her health and safety in life. Every day I listened to music so that she could absorb the soothing sounds. I developed a ritual of talking and singing to her several times a day. I oiled my belly 3 times a day to massage her and let her know that I loved her.
In my 25th week of pregnancy, she decided to turn breach. It was her method of navigating around those pesky fibroids to survive. The pain was excruciating. My little angel fighter managed to make it full term and my prayers had been answered. Until this day, I still have pain in that isolated section of my pelvis.
After her birth, my already troubled and failing relationship with her father hit rock bottom and the relationship fell apart once and for all. It was unanimously agreed by both of us and authorized by him (he told me to take the baby and go) that she and I would move to my native California to be near my family who would give us the support that we need. If the baby and I had stayed in Florida we wouldn’t have had any support at all as I have no friends or family where we lived. I had nowhere else to go.
The cross country move was challenging. My parents helped us with the move, gave us a condo and car and have been beyond generous during this difficult transition. My angel is happy and well adjusted here. We now live in a peaceful environment away from fights, arguments and dysfunction. A child deserves to have both parents in her life and I certainly want that for my little pumpkin. Her father promised to provide child support. So far, he has sent $100 and ignored my requests to come see her or hear her voice by phone.
I work full time at home still getting my writing business going (it’s slowly coming together!) while also taking care of my baby girl full time. I scrape my pennies together for babysitting so that I can focus on making a living. I work around the clock (many times in the middle of the night when she’s sleeping). We have our 3 kitties and small dog that complete our little family. They make her giggle. My days are concentrated from 5am – 12 am every day but we are finally happy and live in a tranquil environment, thanks to the help of my family.
What began as an amicable and mutual agreement between my ex-partner and me for the baby and me to come to California has turned into a viscous lawsuit over child custody and I am being dragged through the mud. However, I must continue to fight until the end. If I am no longer able to retain my attorneys, I WILL LOSE MY BABY GIRL as her father has decided that he wants her back and is fighting me with this lawsuit. It is a terrible injustice what is being done. But I am focused and determined!
I am all smiles for my angel and they are genuine for her happiness is what matters. But after she goes to bed at night I pray for strength. I reach out to God and the universe for answers every day through prayer and meditation. So far, my prayers are being answered.
I am an outstanding mother who would die for her child. I am grounded, strong, balanced, loving and intelligent and am committed to providing the best for my daughter. But I need help paying for my legal fees.
I’ve never reached out to the world to help me before but my precious baby girl is at stake and I will do whatever it takes. So I am petitioning God, the universe and you to find it in your hearts to donate whatever amount is possible. Attorneys are expensive so I am expecting to have to put forth another $10,000 before the case is settled. I will substantiate every donation with proof that funds go straight to my attorney.
As a single mother, I am eternally grateful to everyone who is willing to help. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.