Hi! I'm Artur! I'm 20 y.o. trans guy from Poland - a average sized country from central Europe which is currently led by an oppressive, alt-right, nationalistic government that enforces a lot of unpredictable changes, making this country a really hard place to live for a lgbt+, especially trans, person.
I've been on HRT for half a year now and after a whole year passes, I'll be able to try to change my legal name and gender marker. To do so, I have to literally sue my parents to the court and proove that they "assugned my gender wrong by birth" which is completely ridiculous and shows how transphobic Poland is. What a shame because it's a really beautifull place that could be much better.
As I said, I have to win a court case and to do so, I need to have evidence that I am, indeed a boy and I'm living ane being percieved as male. My parents don't want to cooperate, they freaked out when I told them that they'll have to go to the court. They refused to go but even if they'll appear, they won't take my side or even worse, they'll probably disown me and cut my founds completely. They refused to fund anything connected with my transition but they give me a bit of money so I can stay alive since I'm studying in the another city. I take a major part of this money to pay rent, bills, doctor's visits and T. The leftover part I spend on food and basic needs. I don't need much, I cook cheap meals and I can conserve but even this way, I'm left with nothing at the end of the month and there's no possibility for me to save anything for my future surgery. Getting it would really help me to convince the judge that I'm a man because effects of HRT are usually not enough.
I would never ask for help if I was able to ger money myself. However, as a trans person, I can't really find a real job. I constantly try but I'm being refused because I "confuse clients" or "give a bad impression" - my skills and experience mean nothing. I study criminology at one of the best universities in the country and I have big dreams and hopefully, big future ahead but being trans just makes me unable to start pursuing it. I'm out at the university and noone made a big deal out of it by far. Every semester I have to e-mail each and every lecturer to inform them that I'm trans/ The amount of anxiety, fear and shame I feel doing that is unbearable. I'm afraid they'll stop treating me seriously or start seeing me differently. I don't want a special treatment, I want to achieve things or fail because of what I do, not only because I'm trans and they know it. I hate it.
I have a loving girlfriend with who I want to move in next year. Her parents are phobic and there's a real threat that they'll cut her funds too when they find out we're a couple, which is inevitable since we plan living together. Without any help, we'll be left with nothing. I don't want to drag another live down, especially one so beloved to me.
I need top surgery to stay alive, basically. My chest is a part of my body that bothers me to the greatest extent, I can't imagine going out without a binder so I bind for several hours a day, every day. It's even more dangerous because my sinuses don't work properly and my breathing abilities are restricted even without a tight binder on. My mental condition plays a huge part too, of course. My chest gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, dysphoria and general body image issues. I should probably be undergoing therapy for this and my other issues but I can't afford it in any way. No step of HRT is covered by insurance here even though, Poland has public healthcare; hiring an assesor to complete court procedures will cost a lot too. And I still have to stay alive so I can see my new future.
Getting a top surgery would drastically improve my life. It's my biggest dream and I'd have a great apreciation towards anyone who'll donate. Every dollar counts.
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