HELP ME ESCAPE FAMILY SCAPEGOATING AND NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

Please help artist, philpsopher, mystic, psychology major, actor, spiritual teacher and healer, hopeful polymath, overall creative-entrepreneur, and queer black female gain financial stability and mental~emotional wellness.

Hi, my name is "T Solstice" (this is not my name, i am trying to maintain some kind of anonymity for i fear for my safety while sharing this). Please if you speak publicly or share anything about this use the nickname "T Solstice" always. I am fighting to hopefully escape an abusive situation, and regain my psychological, physical, and spiritual safety!

Countless adult women and men suffer in silence to keep themselves safe and sane through the horrific circumstances of domestic abuse and controlling family members. We now live in a time where the world has placed healing, love, and growth at the forefront of essential human necessity. Several brave and beautiful people who once suffered alone have begun to ignite an inspiring movement, breaking their silence and asking for help. I am one of those humans~i am not a slave to my fears and i am asking for your help. Those of you who have struggled on your own, know how detrimental this kind of trauma can be to a young woman and how debilitating it is. Im sure some of you know that depression, anxiety, and PTSD impact ones ability to be a healthy functioning human being in society...

WHO AM I?

I am "T" an inspired young black woman, an artist, a small business owner from Southern Africa. I am fiercely committed to creating a safe home for myself, and a safe world for others like me. I strongly believe in kindness, truth, love, safety, peace, self-awareness, and evolution. These are but a few of my core values.

Unfortunately, this path that i walk has not been an easy one...from a young age, i have been the victim of abuse and psychological harassment at the hands of those whose home i was born into~my family; my caretakers. The pain that ive felt in my 23 years is unpalpable. Ive suffered alone through constant scapegoating, financial abuse, narcissistic abuse, verbal and emotional abuse, spiritual abuse and more. Ive witnessed my dogs being beaten relentlessly to no end. My health has been on a tightrope. There are no words that can truly capture the weight of psychological abuse. I dont even know what it must be like to suffer this as well as physical abuse; i feel the pain of those who've survived this fate.

I would love to commit myself to someday becoming a prominent figure in mind, body, and spiritual wellness. I believe everyone deserves to wake up each day feeling full and vital. Feeling joy and love is our birthright. i intend to carry this dream forward using my art, spiritual teachings, and the knowledge ive gained in school and from other fellow souls in this life.

It is difficult to explain how ive managed to cope all these years, but it has not been easy. Fulfilling all the dreams i am striving for does come with its own obstacles i understand; but the obstacles of suffering through abuse have been the most grueling and defeating. I am trying to gather enough strength to even write this all for you.

Thus far during this journey ive been cycling through the creation of my podcast, setting up and opening my e-commerce store which focuses on mostly thrifted and antique goods, starting a blog, perfecting my craft as a digital artist, learning about astrology and other occult subjects, furthering my studies in psychology-philosophy-and acting, as well as teaching myself music production and marketing.

No matter the size of your contribution, each donation and word of encouragement is a heartfelt expression of support, a hand that says, “We care about you and we care about your struggle.” The struggle not only to survive but to thrive! To emerge from trauma and live joyfully, healthily, and peacefully! And this can only be made possible by YOUR donations, which will not only help fund my relocation to safety, but give me access to all the tools necessary to pursue my career as a young black woman, and enroll myself in quality mental health services.

THE COST OF BEING SCAPEGOATED AND NARCISSTICALLY ABUSED OVER 23 YEARS~

If i could simplify the experience of scapegoating and narcissistic abuse i would say; it feels alot like a dark weight of all the pain, anger, and self-hate others are responsible for that you have been nonconsensually held responsible for. It feels like when a mob decides to turn back and face you and hurt you instead of whatever has caused them pain. It is your external reality and internal reality battling against each other, trying to find the narrative that makes the most sense(but none of the realities make sense, so in a way youve lost your mind or youre faced with intense cognitive dissonance, dissociative episodes, and panic attacks!). In a scenario like this you feel incredibly isolated regardless of the other relationships you might have in your life. The idea that your mere being is a fault (a baseless claim though) sticks with you and at some point you truly believe that you are worthless. This is when your depression strikes, your anxiety worsens, you numb yourself through addictions, you self harm or consider suicide as "the only way out", you struggle so so much to find the light again...and all i have as "support" since the pandemic began is the humans who torture me the most. This does not help my healing even in the slightest; i assume ive made progress with my deepest wounds but then someone strikes at me with harsh words or cruel behaviour and then i'm back where ive always been mentally. its all riddled with unfathomable confusion and toxicity. I get no nurturing from my mother/my aunts/my uncle/my grandparents etc. None seem to care nearly enough about my wellbeing to try to hear my pain or help when I reach my hand out begging for it to stop.

I hope and pray that enough of you hear me out as i send this message to you. I am struggling to see if there is a lighter ending to this emotional pain, i really struggle to convince myself that suicide isnt the only option left for me. It seems that it is just because i cant seem to make anything else work, i am depleted and with very few resources available to me...this is why i am begging for help here like this.

Overall i have realised this relationship(between my family and i) has come to a bitter end. I think to make progress in my life and in my healing i would need to distance myself. None of my basic emotional and spiritual needs have been met thus far, and i have to sacrifice so many of my boundaries quite often; and this isnt a healthy way to relate with people. I tend to allow bad behaviours and verbal abuse just to keep the peace...and i have to focus on my career and growth as a young adult but this unfortunately comes as an inconvenience to them so it is flagged as selfishness and cruelty. So at the moment i dont know what else i could do to save myself- if im not allowed to work in the field im skilled at most or pursue my passions, if i cant save money that ive earned for myself but rather to be guilted into giving it away towards their needs, if i cant take time to myself once in a while to rest or work on my healing...what is it that i am doing? Is my purpose to be here for the rest of my life not doing anything of value till i die? Is the point to stay here with humans whos values dont align with mine(to be ok with ignorance and bigotry and vile hatred)? Am i to just not nourish my other relationships besides this one because "no one will like you" and "you dont need friendship"? Should i also stay financially tied to everyone here until i feel so much guilt and shame that i never assume independence and have a healthy life on my own?

These are some of the questions i ask myself. this relationship does not get better with time, its reached a dead end...and it is exhausting to say the least, hoping for a silver lining yet there wasnt one to begin with. So please if you resonate or feel anything, HELP ME PLEASE!

**we can talk privately if youd like in-depth details on everything thats happened**

Expenses breakdown if you donate:

❤travel and relocation costs

❤passports and legal documentaion

❤initial living costs for 2 months(food,transport,toiletries,rent etc.)

❤medical expenses(psychological+physical healing)

❤replacement art, photography, film, equipment

❤membership costs for e-businesses

❤online courses and other learning materials

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🌟⭐🌻HOW YOU CAN HELP🌻⭐🌟

*Contribute to my Crowdfunding Campaign. Any amount, great or small, is immensely appreciated!

*Donate directly to my Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/hktesoulbomb (for amounts $100 and greater so i can compile a special list! I would love to personally thank you)

*Please share this campaign on all social media! (I can be found @unicorndoingvoodou on instagram & @unicornvoodou on twitter)

*If you find yourself intrigued by my newsletter and any of the work i do, you can join my creative subscription for free at https://www.getrevue.co/profile/hkte . Feel free to continue to support my creative adventures!

>>also dont forget to sign up at https://www.getrevue.co/profile/tsolstice to receive regular updates on this fundraiser via email!<<

~❤A Token of Gratitude❤~

Donations of...

❤$100-$349 will receive a specialised predictive astrology reading about any special event/date+time of your choice(once ive gathered myself)

❤$350-$999 will receive custom digital art (i also do erotic art paintings🌹)

❤$1,000+ will receive custom digital art alongside an in-depth natal chart analysis!

I can only pay in kind to 5 or 6 of you who I will randomly select. To the rest of my supporters, I can only offer my gratitude and deepest appreciation~I hope it will suffice.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for supporting T Solstice !! It was an honor joining souls with you🌜💜I will keep everyone updated on my progress.