Help me begin living normally!

Hi everyone

My story is not as bad as others but I honestly need help, this is just scratching the surface...

My name is Izaak

It is quite daunting writing this and revealing myself to the world, so I hope you see the sense of urgency..

I am hoping to raise funds to begin living a normal life by getting the treatment I need and to find a stable place to live.

I was born on the 26/12/1996

My mother was a chronic drug user and had many bad habits,due to these lifestyle choices I was born 2 months premature malnourished and had to stay in hospital for 3 month.

I suffered from sids and actually flatlined 3 times.

My mental development was effected due to this considerably, especially with memory retention and concentration.

Eventually with the help of my maternal grandmother and the rest of the family, my mother nurtured me until finding her own home for a few years.

We had to move around a lot through schools and areas, I never formed a proper stable friendship and I was never introduced to my father, nor did my family know who it was.

My mother associated with many horrible men through the years to accompany her with her drug use and I witnessed much abuse and suffered it myself in various forms which has given me diagnosed PTSD and other illnesses

it is incredibly difficult to sleep or function at all.

At age 7 on Christmas Day 2004 she had a massive brain haemorrhage and died as a result of her addictions.

My birthday was the next day.

I was placed in the care of my aunties and grandmother and rotated faithfully throughout the family for the next 4 Years.

My schooling suffered greatly, I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression, counselling services did not offer much help because I was so young and did not respond to the treatment correctly.

I eventually was sent to a boarding school after attaining a scholarship, this school was many many hours away, this was with my best interests at heart.

This did not actually help though and I felt isolated and alienated from my family during this period, I became quite rebellious as I wanted to leave but wasn’t allowed to and my grades continued to drop, although school teachers and class mates would try to encourage me to do better seeing my natural intelligence (IQ rating 134)

I suffered mentally moreso because I could see my ability but could not harness it, due to adhd, depression, ptsd, anxiety, depersonalisation and derealization.

I eventually was expelled from school, much to my families disgust.

My family did not really want the “responsibility” of me after this and my grandmother was too old and sick to care or live with me.

For the past 4 going onto 5 Years I have since floated around homeless from couch to couch, perpetually wondering the iron jungles seeking some sort of direction, I have tried so many sorts of healing such as meditation, prayer, fitness, counselling, medication.

None have really helped and I am getting worse because I am smart enough to see my life degrading but am too troubled in the mind to do anything.

I can’t hold a job due to physical and mental issues or a stable friendship, and am left alone unable to work or support myself.

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat properly, I can’t function and state services are not funded enough to really help me at all on any effective level.

My doctor and psychologist has recommended that I try integrative medicine to see if I have any deep unnoticed deficiencies, but this is very expensive just to start with and costs a few thousand to maintain treatment.

I also have no stable living space, I have no immediate family, no one really cares anymore because I’m an adult now...

I have no sense of direction or pride, but I don’t really want to kill myself either, I just want help to begin a normal life and hopefully stabilise for once.

I’m sick of being a nomad, always worrying about where I’m going to stay next or how I’m going to eat.

All in all I would like to raise enough funding to initially get into a rental and get some treatment so that I can hopefully become stable enough to work and just live for once.

I’m tired, I feel like I’m 80, but I’m attached to the one little sliver of hope left in me that I might have a chance in this world...


Thank you for reading.