Who am I? I could tell you that I'm an applicant from third world country that probably you haven't heard of, as it isn't relevant to the global economy. A country whichaccording to recent news broke a record with 51 people murdered daily due to increased gang violence. The most polluted, deforested & overpopulated country of Latin America. The pit of dreams & yearnings of so many people that were forced to accept their Salvadoran nationality. "You need to study abroad if you want to be somebody" is a phrase which I am very familiar with. It wasn't until this precise moment were I prepare to leave part of my life behind, that I understand the true problematic that my country faces. It isn't about the deforestation, nor the violence, but about the lack of nationalistic pride which so many generations have perpetuated. After working closely with children of all backgrounds & their families as a guide in the national children's museum and as a helper of a public school in a rural area named Ataco, I realized the true "devastating" reality of my country. We refuse to see our resilient roots, the flowing determination of our blood and the incessant fire of ambition within us. We refuse to see ourselves in the sower that wakes up at 3am for $3 daily to have something to put on the table. In the woman who abandons her home & kids for 2 weeks to serve as a maid for $100 in a stranger's home. In the gang members that society nurtured & raised. Refusing to see that we are them and they are us, and how all of us are the remains of a broken society. A culture whose worn beauty & enduring strength can only be seen throughout the eyes of those who dare to see further from what is expected.
My family background has always been something that pushes me forward, this surreal story of how a runaway farm boy and an orphan girl left to her own luck managed to have one of their kids graduate from an elite school. They taught me to never conform, that I am meant to be something more. Thanks to them I learned to be independent, persistent, strong minded, a hard worker and to never be scared of defying the status quo. I am determined to break all boundaries. I am the first person in my family to speak 3 languages, to be in the Roll of Honour, and only one who can actually aspire to study abroad.
My time in El Salvador has defined who I am and who I want to be, however there is nothing here for me anymore. Anything that is different is victim of hostility. Sexism & racism are issues that my country hasn't yet overcome. Anyone who doesn't fit the mould is a target of mockery & disgrace, to which I am not a stranger of. Never had I thought that being slightly different could make you feel worthless and undeserving of love. I was diagnosed with depression & even had suicidal thoughts due to the incessant bullying. It wasn't until I stepped back and placed my struggle into context that I realised that I didn't need to get out of my depression for myself- I needed to, in order to give my best to the country that borne me. I was determined to show everyone what this "faggot" could do. I wanted to use all my raw experiences, all the struggles and all this suppressed potential for something more significant. I am determined to break away from this prisoner society, to understand how it has shaped who I am, my experiences and surroundings. I want to use my future major in sociology and masters in business to exploit my true potential in life and inspire others to take the reins of their fate, to never let their current situation befog their horizon. I have always wanted to study in Britain, so far I have been accepted to four universities (University of Manchester, Warwick University, Lancaster University and Edinburgh University) however my family is struggling to pay the high price of living conditions (even at minimum). This is why I need your help to follow my dreams. I am resilient, I am a fighter, I am determined; But most important of all I am a Salvadoran with a goal.