All the Help I Can Get…

I need all the help I can get... When is life supposed to get better? After my father passed away at 16?...After I was forced to move to a country where I knew no one.. Where I had to leave everyone I knew¨?

Now at 24 Im a mother of two. I dont regret my sons at ALL. but unfortunately both times I got pregnant I was NOT ready... So I had to buy baby stuff all over again both times. Debt... Debt... and Debt...

The Father of my kids is NOT a good father, tells my children they are retarded, stupid, idiots etc... Its insane... He left me when i was pregnant with my second baby... Left me because I would not abort.... Stupid me went back to him after the baby was born...

Came back to physical and emotional beatings everyday. The govenment in Costa Rica does not help me out. Ive tried getting help everywhere to get out of here but there is no way. ALL because of money.

He has even said if i leave he will not help me out with the kids, since by law he is ONLY required to give $160 a month for both children... Which is not even enough for groceries, not including ALL the credit card debt, loans, etc, Its too much. too much for me alone.

I need help. I am sick of crying my self to sleep. being afraid of him hitting me again, or my children. I have nothing. and i need help. Please help me get out of this money mess. I need help to leave him.

I dont want to live in fear anymore. I want to be happy. I deserve to FINALLY be happy. My life has be downs after downs. I need ups my kids are young i dont want them to live scared everyday of their father, i dont want them growing up seeing their mother so miserable.