Help love and life not to die

This is the story of a great love and a huge repentance. I will not call the real names of the participants of this story because I don't want my beloved man to appear in an awkward position. I live in Ukraine, unhappy country, and all my life I've waited for an opportunity to leave it. And I found the proper aim when I had a crush on an incredible person, philanthropist, who tries to bring love in this world. He lives in North America. We maintained an excellent relationship for more than six months. It was full of mutual support, high intellectual communication, making of mutual plans and my incredible love and devotion. Until yesterday, the moment when I because of a huge misunderstanding brought down on my beloved man a stream of verbal filth. I acted incredibly stupidly, recklessly, disgusting, smugly. I cannot get his forgiveness, because he turned off all channels of communication with me. My only opportunity to receive forgiveness is to personally fly to his city to beg for forgiveness. But I have absolutely no money for tickets (only hostel) - in the present circumstances I need to work three months for this, and I do not have time to wait. If you've ever loved, you will understand my pain, my despair. He is my first love. It is the first time I ask someone to give me money. I promise to pray for you and members of your family, if you donate me even one dollar. I am in suicidal group of risk (try to be young, intelligent and beautiful in Ukraine!) and I feel that I can not bear this loss without eventually making physical harm to himself. Please, I beg you, give me an opportunity to redeem myself. I'll write your name on the paper, which I will put on my altar and pray for the welfare of each person who comes into my position. I hurt so much, please help a loving heart! My gratitude will be endless. Please, help me! (I cannot eat, I cannot even walk, I can only cry and the only thing that helped me to get out of bed was writing this letter).