My life as i know it is a difficult one. For me the days are long and hard to bare with. Everytime i take a glimpse into my passed i get sick and feel paralized. For the passed 3 years or so i have been on a stand still, isolating myself from everyday's society and trying to get away from an overly aggressive and physically abusive relationship. It has definetly taken the best out of me. I quit working my second job after several times of his attempts to show up or have others contact me there. My first awesome job i loved so much his jealousy, self-conscious, and overly controlling mannor forced me to have to quit. He couldnt handle the fact that i was able to do well on my own. With or with out him i was able to afford rent, everyday needs, and i was truly happy. When he started to notice these things he would do little things intentionally for example; hide my car keys, turn off my alarm, start fighting with me to make me late or too upset to go, and at times went as far as disabling my cars electrical and disabling fuses so my car wouldnt start. This relationship lasted a number years where in the begining he used manipulation to convince me of what a great guy he was and how he would never hurt me or put a hand on me, and after he knew i believed it and knew he had me completely involved he flipped the script and a whole different person i hadnt once before noticed any sign of came to life. I once had a lot going for myself I was always motivated and determined to be the best at whatever it was i put my mind to. I was very goal oriented and never thought i would let someone especially a pittiful man bring me down. But I WAS WRONG!! Just that happened he took everything from me including all my belongings, money, clothes anything worth a dime, my self pride, determination, my self worth, motivation and my want and desire to make a difference and to be somebody one day. I now suffer from anxiety disorder, depression disorder, PTSD(Post-TRAMATIC STRESS DISORDER), along with borderline personality disorder which I hope to get help with from the help of funds. As today stands just about 3 1/2 years from the time i last seen him despite his constant harrassment and attempts to locate me thru friends internet phone calls, etc. I'm left with nothing. I have let him continue to win, he still has everything he wants and needs to live and lead a normal life and I still have nothing and cant afford to live, eat, or take care of any normal personal needs i have. So today is the day i take a stand at regaining my life and taking the nessasary steps it will take to getting my self image back, obtaining a stable living environment to feel safe in and taking back my motivation and determination to be the best i can be and make a difference. The longer i stay down on myself and letting my self go the longer I'm letting him win. Today is the day I begin to win again. I could use a little push I have no income accept for help with a little amount of food each month. Other than that I'm forced to couch surf if I'm lucky and If not I find myself mostly stuck sleeping in my barley functioning beaten down car. I would be greatly appreciative of any and all donations funding my cause. I will use it to get back on my feet. If I'm able to raise enough I plan to find a stable living apartment that I can call my own and that I can feel safe at. Next i plan on working on my self image since i have completely let my self go. Get a hair cut, buy a nice outfit, and look and feel like a woman and feel like I'm worth something again. I'm raising money to take my life back. I'm hoping that with a little help I'll be able to get back on my feet and regain the stability it takes to feel and to feel like somebody worth while. I Hope to get back to where I once was going to school, working, living and affording my own place, owning my own nice vehicle, and affording to take care of my self being and self image.