For several years now I’ve been dealing with anxiety.
I found I could no longer ride comfortably on the underground transportation system due to anxiety – I absolutely could not get on the Metro.
The first time I met with my Dr. we spent hardly any time at all talking about the Metro. Instead he asked lots of questions about my childhood, my day to day life and the number of times a day I felt anxiety. Slowly, as I answered his inquiries I realized the truth. Anxiety was affecting me for some time.
At the time, I didn’t know what was happening. A lot of people say they think they’re dying when they have a panic attack.
My panic attacks were always self-induced. The minute I started worrying about having one, I would either be successful at distracting myself, or I wouldn’t. When I wasn’t, I swirled into the abyss of panic. If anything, I figured I was going crazy. What other explanation was there?
All I wanted was to be normal, and normal meant not waking up each morning wondering how I was going to get through the day.
My constant paranoia and worst-case-scenario mindset overtook the logical part of my brain, causing me to worry endlessly. No matter how many counseling sessions I went to, no matter how much I willed myself to change.
With a feeling of desperation I made an appointment with a new psychiatrist. He didn’t ask me to discuss my feelings. Instead, he asked me to describe my anxiety. He didn’t treat me like a person who wasn’t trying hard enough. He explained that brains are wired differently in each person and that this persistent anxiety was not my fault. To him, my condition wasn’t a massive calamity; it was a problem with a solution.
Ultimately, we agreed to try a low dose of medication. But just one month later, I got my life back.
I felt like myself for the first time in years. On this medication, the cloud was lifted. The continuous loop of worrying thoughts were going away. One year later, I am still medicated but on a higher dose, and I am grateful everyday. I am not claiming medication is for everyone.
I have experienced first-hand that some forms of anxiety can be overcome without it, and I even hope to wean myself off of my medication one day soon. But I also know that some anxiety doesn’t go away no matter what you try and how badly you want to change.
I cannot stress enough how important it is that everyone, especially those who don’t suffer from anxiety, refrain from judgement and understand that this is a real disease that is often beyond one’s control. The right remedy varies from person to person.
I share my story because there are many people who are ashamed to talk about their anxiety.
I share my story to give a voice to those who feel guilty about choosing medication to improve their lives.
With rising healthcare costs many plagued with anxiety disorder are facing the challenge of affording anxiety medication to manage the symptoms. These medications are a basic necessity for anxiety disorder sufferers.
Most insurance plans will cover a portion of the medication once the patient has met their deductible. However I have no insurance. Which means paying a lot. This leaves me facing the challenge of affording anxiety medications.
There are a variety of anxiety medications prescribed to manage the symptoms and prevent future attacks. Many of the most commonly prescribed are available in generic form.
It's always good to give to the less fortunate and if you have a little extra to give, fantastic.
Immediately show your support by giving a small fee. This contribution can raise awareness about anxiety and help me pay for my daily medication.