Haven for a Bipolar woman

Welcome Generous Stranger,

Thank you for having a look on my site.

I am 28 years old and suffering from Bipolar Disorder and Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder since my early childhood. Unfortunately I've only been diagnosed 10 years ago, so I have faced countless painful experiences humiliation, sexual abuse at the age of 4, kidnapped at the age of 22 and all kind of troubles in my childhood and my adulthood which are haunting me every single day.

My family background is also troubled as all of my relatives suffer from various mental illnesses many of them have bipolar. So I don't even have a safe supporting background.

My mum raised me alone because my father disappeared when she got pregnant. We were always financially in difficult situation.

I alway try my best to cope with my illness, I managed to get a Kindergarten Degree which was very difficult with ADHD and with untreated bipolar.

Since I've been diagnosed I tried many therapies and looked up many doctors but because I was either short of money or because of my stressful job I could not benefit from the medical help.

Currently I am on 4 medications I am taking 2x a day. They have horrible side effects and next to my stressful job they are not even effective. My life is a constant roller coaster and fear of tomorrow. The mood swings makes it impossible to bring through my personal goals and recently I can't even perform the simples things like taking care of myself properly. I have problems with my concentration, socializing problems in my whole life, panic attacks and phobias, sleeping problems, eating problems, whice are making my every day life miserable.

I feel I am reaching my limit and I am very scared to end up in a mental hospital tied up and drugged because of losing control completely. I want to have a chance to heal myself on my own with dignity not in a closed psychiatry ward without money.

That is why I am raising fund to acomplish my plans and being able to do a job that is compatible with bipolar. Unfortunately jobs with low stress level are not well paid. So I am still struggling my current job that makes me very sick and triggers all the horrible sypthomes of Bipolar Disorder. As I get older my condition is getting more severe and out of control. But if I resign now from my job I will be in debt and no money to survive and get proper medical treatment.

I am hoping to being able to resign before Christmas and start a new life with your help.

If you decide to support me your kind donation will be used for the following purposes:

* paying back my ~20.000$ debt so I can resign from my current job and I can return to my country.(resigning my current job is essencial to have a chance to improve my condition)

* upon my return to my country to have money to pay bills, food, medications, psychiatrist and CBT and Group theraphies until I will get enough stable to start to work.

*to furnish my tiny apartment I would live in. I don't even have a single chair so I have to buy all kind of furnitures.

* to pay for a surgery to fix a childhood trauma injury that causes me discomfort and pains on daily basis.

* to buy a bicycle and pay for monthly pass to the local swimming pool as exercising improves of the bipolar mood swings

* to apply to a school either to learn how to be a florist or learn to make soft animal toys because these things makes me relaxed and calmer

* to get a driving liecense and buy a tiny car so I can visit regularly my 90-year-old grandmother who lives in the country side and help her around the house.

I know many people has seemingly far bigger problems in their life and more urgent needs however after all the traumas and suffering I went through from my early childhood and still going through on a daily basis I believe I deserve to have a chance for a dignified life.

Some informations about me:

I am mainly introverted person mostly because of my traumas. I don't consume alcohol don't smoke, don't use any recreational substances not even coffein.

I love handcrafts like decorating, sewing, binding books, making seashell picture frames etc. I love naure and animals. I would love to volunteer in zoos or shelters once I feel better enough.

Your donation even if it only covers my next month medication it is highly appreciated.

Thank You for Your kind contribution in advance<3