GO FUND ME TO START AN OPERATION TO SOLVE MANY SHYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS AS AN ABUSED CHILD

Hello, i am 33 years old. I have a very anxious job, and I live on my own.

i struggle with severe depression and anxiety with suicidal ideation. I am trying hard to deal with it but it gets worse.A psychiatrist recomended a medication to help with my depression, as well as sleep issues. I can't afford this though.

It really feels like my family is going to be the cause of my death at this point. They constantly blame me for , everything . For them everyting i do do is wrong, they don't consider my feelings at all.

Everytime anyone does or says something hurtful to me, I just wish I could be dead so I don't have to suffer through this anymore. As a child my parents used to beat me for everything/For them i was a bad person and i didnt know what to do or even if i am doing something wrong.My friends avoid me and lauph at me always point at me and advise me to do something wrong and then laough at me and call me idiot.My heart is in pain.

i have a univeristy degrre i used to be good in my job and all people respected me since the nighmare hit again. A collegue in the job start laoughing at me again and then satrted saying all the people for a mistake i have done. Now everyone talks behind my back they call me idiot they dont want to talk to me .They advise me things that i dont want .My mind is a jungle everyon blames me ,calls me a lyier and blames me for things i didnt even think doing.Every time i want to talk they stop me..They tell i dont have problems and no to spend their time and when i leave they blame me for leaving. i am trying to do the right and everyone laoughs at me.

.i am trying to raise some money to help me self by psycotherapy and make a new start i dont even know if it is right to ask i just hope smeone out there might care not only for money but for my soul.i didnt know life is so difficult i hope thing will hange.Any help will be apreciated.

Your kindness is greatly appreciated.