Give me the will to live please

Update posted by Irina Kupchina On Jan 17, 2017

Hello!Maybe I'm not good enough to describe my problem , maybe people think I'm lazy and don't want to solve their own problems. I will try to tell you my story from the beginning to the present day. I do not speak English and had to use the Internet translator . I hope that you at least can understand me. $ 1= 60 rubles. Every month I have of salary 13000 rubles . That real wages in Russia. Many people pay less than I do . Half of the money I have to pay for housing. Bread ( 400 grams ) worth a minimum of 25 rubles , milk ( 800 ml ) is the minimal cost 41 rubles , potatoes(1 kg ) is the minimal cost 23 rubles , meat ( 1 kg of pork ) is the minimal cost of 300 rubles, I do not buy meat, meat is too expensive for me . I only buy chicken sometimes , 1 kilogram is the minimum of 210 rubles. What should I do to earn money for a dentist ? I need to find a second job ! OK! During the year I was looking for a second job . It is very difficult , jobs are very few . But I did and was happy. In June 2015 I got a second job and additionally 14000 rubles per month. I was hoping to accumulate some money and later to take the credit in Bank. Do you know about the Russian loans ? You take a loan worth 21 percent in the year is minimal and you pay interest for the loan and then give it credit . If you took money from the Bank ,then forced you to pay at least 100 percent more . But I was ready for it . There was no choice other. And so I worked two jobs , almost did not sleep , was tired all the time ,but it helped me with my dream about healthy teeth . And then came November . In November my mom was diagnosed with a malignant tumor of the uterus . It was a shock ! Why did this happen to my mom?! My quiet , sweet , kind , love mommy... of Course I forgot about my problems . All the money we had we gave to the treatment mom . We believed in the victory . I prayed that my mother stayed with me and were healthy. 19 Jul 2016 . I had a call from the hospital . My mommy died . My heart died with my mom . For a year I worked hard , didn't rest but did not have any result . I was left without a mother , I lost a second job , my teeth finally collapsed and now I can't eat normal food. All my dreams were defeated . I have no family except my daughter is 12 years old. Last 4 months I am again looking for a second job , but it's hard .There is no work ! Especially for a monster like me . I can't open my mouth and speak . I look ugly . I often start to think about how to die . My last hope is that people will want to help me . But Russia does not want to help in such problems adults . We have charity but for children only . Every month I give some money to sick children as like many other people . But no charity for me and for others like me . I tried very hard to solve my problem by myself , but I failed . Please help me. I really lost the will to live . I don't know what to do . Help

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Irina Kupchina

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