Get Married and Save the World

Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Aug 09, 2018

I want to thank the several friends who have made suggestions about my book, both before and after reading some of it. I have indeed written several paragraphs here and there in response to these good ideas. I definitely appreciate thoughtful suggestions.

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Aug 05, 2018

The tree featured in the photographs is a giant banyan tree at a park near Yangshuo, China. I use the banyan as a metaphor in the book, of the one flesh nature of man and wife. The roots of the banyan tree grow down from the limbs of the tree itself, and embed themselves in the ground. Then they nourish the tree and grow strong themselves, over time looking like small trees themselves. A large banyan can look like a small forest.

Since the woman came forth from man, being made of his flesh, she reminds me of the roots of the banyan, which come from the tree’s own flesh, and help it live and grow. So I see the banyan as a picture of marriage. The two united as one.

Anyway, even if you’re not fond of the metaphor, it’s an amazing tree, and the one pictured is one of the largest in China. The biggest banyan in the world is in India.

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Aug 05, 2018

You can read all the samples from my book in one place at my holiness website right here: https://www.holinessofthebride.com/wp-content/uplo...

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

Obedience in Christ

Jesus commands obedience and repentance. The book of Acts commands obedience and repentance. The Epistles command obedience and repentance. Revelation commands obedience and repentance. The fact that a single act is not the source of our justification is irrelevant. Good works are a necessary part of our life in Christ, and we fool ourselves if we think we do not need to do them. The Christian must live a holy life. He must live the way God has called him to live. The idea that one can sin freely as a Christian, and without repentance, is as anti-biblical and anti-Gospel as you could imagine. A Christian who sins without shame refutes his own faith. He denies his faith. He denies that Christ does what He says He does. A born again soul must live like one born again. If not, then no one in the world has a real reason to believe he is actually a Christian.

Some churches today like to teach that you can be born again, then end up sinning shamelessly for many years, and choose to dedicate your life to Christ later one day. This is a complete lie. A person who is born again is ALSO dedicated to Christ. That is the nature of the new birth. We are a new creation and God will be our God and we will be His people. (Jeremiah 31:33) We live in the newness of Christ’s life. It may be true there is a learning process, but that learning process is actually uphill. It involves actively seeking the good we should desire on our heart. It means hating and staying away from the sins and temptations which could rob us of our goal. It means sorrow and repentance when we sin. That’s an upward climb. The idea that a born again soul can flat-line for years is in great conflict with Scripture. For the Bible teaches that good fruit comes from a good tree. Bad fruit comes from a bad tree. A good tree cannot put forth bad fruit. A bad tree cannot put forth good fruit. (Matthew 7:16-20) The Christian who thinks he can flat-line and sin without repentance for years is not a Christian. His fruit is not Christian. His fruit is the fruit of the damned. The lost. It is bad fruit from a bad tree. The REAL Christian is already dedicated to the Savior, even if it takes some time to learn and grow. He is already doing that.

For those Christians who like to imagine their own sins as very small things, not like murder and rape, remember that is a false and overly convenient categorizing of sin. It is not just murderers who die and end up for eternity in hell. The Bible says that liars do not enter the kingdom of heaven. It says that fornicators and adulterers and sodomites do not enter. It says those practicing idolatry, drunkenness and other sins are not going where Christians end up going. There is no rest for the wicked. The Christian life should not just be free of murder. God forbid. It should be as stainless as our persistence and hard work can make it. Paul spoke about how he pressed into perfection, although he had not attained it. (Philippians 3:12) So should we. Don’t forget, the same arguments the Christian make about how he can be saved and sin freely can likewise be made by the murderer, rapist or pedophile. Anyone can play that game. I’ll just do evil for now, and I’ll dedicate my life to Christ later. Well, you could die tomorrow. How about that? And God says if you do, you are not entering into His kingdom. To believe in God is also to obey God. Any Christian who doesn’t know that needs to pick up his Bible again and read it through. You’re not going to miss it.


Note: These portions have been edited, but not necessarily a final edit, so the book version may be slightly different.

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

Without attempting to get into every doctrine, I include this statement of faith to let you know I accept orthodox Christian theology, from the Protestant arena

The Bible is the word of the living God, and is infallible and inerrant in its autographs

God is by nature spirit, is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, immutable and infinite in glory

God has made all creation ex nihilo, and is distinct from His creation

God is perfectly one in His nature and exists eternally in three Persons, the Father, Son and Spirit. They coexist and commune eternally and are equal in glory.

Mankind through his fall is alienated from God, suffering death, the moral corruption of his nature and being under condemnation of the Almighty

God became incarnate in the womb of the virgin Mary through the Holy Spirit

Jesus the Messiah is fully human and fully God

Jesus lived a sinless life and died on the cross as an atoning death for man’s sin

Jesus rose from the dead on the third day, appeared to His disciples and to the multitudes and ascended into heaven

Jesus is the only way to the Father, not one of many ways

The Holy Spirit dwells in the believer in Christ, leading him in truth and sanctifying him

Repentance from sin must come together with faith in Jesus

The dead will be raised, both the just and the unjust, before the final judgment of mankind

The Lord Jesus will return again in glory to judge both the living and the dead

The soul will reside eternally either in heaven or in hell

Moreover, the moral law has not changed, either in the prohibition of sodomy or the nature of marriage being one man and one woman for life.

While I respect other historical views, my understanding of the working of God’s grace is Reformed.


Note: These portions have been edited, but not necessarily a final edit, so the book version may be slightly different.

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

Scriptural Teachings

This scriptural outline is meant to provide the main instructional teachings on each chapter subject. I will not provide every teaching that possibly offers insight into the subject or all that I used in the chapter. It is simply for the main teaching scriptures, to show the framework of the elements of marriage I have discussed.

Marital Headship

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:3

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:25-32)

Marital Submission

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Colossians 3:18

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—

rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,

as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

1 Peter 3:1-6

The Role of Homemaker

the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—

that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,

to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

Titus 2:3-5

Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14

And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

1 Timothy 2:14-15

A Lifelong Union

The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.

And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.

And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

“But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’

‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

‘and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.

So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.

“And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Mark 10:2-12

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’

“and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,[fn] and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”

But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:

“For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

Matthew 19:3-12

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Luke 16:18

Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives?

For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.

So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.

Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.

Romans 7:1-4

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.

But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:39

Vessel for Bearing and Raising Children

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 1:28

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3-5


Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
In the very heart of your house,
Your children like olive plants
All around your table.

Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
Who fears the LORD.

Psalm 128:3-4

And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

1 Timothy 2:14-15

“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

For He established a testimony in Jacob,
And appointed a law in Israel,
Which He commanded our fathers,
That they should make them known to their children;

That the generation to come might know them,
The children who would be born,
That they may arise and declare them to their children,

That they may set their hope in God,
And not forget the works of God,
But keep His commandments;

Psalm 78:5-7

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

1 Corinthians 7:14

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

Exodus 20:12

But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them,

and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

2 Timothy 3:14-15

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:

“My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;

For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?

But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?

For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:5-11

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

“that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
Yes, he will give delight to your soul.

Proverbs 29:17

My son, hear the instruction of your father,
And do not forsake the law of your mother;

For they will be a graceful ornament on your head,
And chains about your neck.

Proverbs 1:8-9

Free Love

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5


Note: These portions have been edited, but not necessarily a final edit, so the book version may be slightly different.

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

Loving someone who dies is a gift. It is a love that should overflow onto other souls besides our loved one. It should be a well of water that we can gift to others. It should enlighten all relationships. Seeing death personally teaches us to care for and protect our fellow man, to see the importance of his nourishment, his strength, his mind and all he can do in this universe. It makes us want him never to be degraded.

If you feel the same way, you should also know the sacredness of God’s family. Of marriage and childbearing. It is how God cares for, protects, nourishes, educates and blesses the earth around us. We often say to ourselves, I wish society would care for the poor better. But we ARE society, and when we have a family, we ourselves care for the poor. We often say, why doesn’t someone educate the children better. But in the family we have our own chance to do that without turning to anyone. People complain, why don’t parents discipline their children, why are they out committing crimes all night. Well, we can answer that complaint ourselves, by raising our own children and disciplining them so they know right and wrong, so that they respect God and respect the law. We complain about all the children without homes, but we are the ones to give them a home ourselves, and make sure it’s a safe one. So who are we complaining about? If you want to love God and man, have a family and save the world. It’s in your hands.

Forget about the years acquiring the highest financial platform in life. Forget about the decades of hedonism which you think are your birthright as a westerner. Forget about the drink, the parties, the sports and your travel plans. Get married. Have a family. Save the world.


Note: These portions have been edited, but not necessarily a final edit, so the book version may be slightly different.


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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

I Do

Remember this when you read that the man and the wife in marriage represent Christ and His chosen people. Remember that when you think of the wedding. There is a man saying “I do” to lifting his bride up from anything common or wicked and protecting her from the devil; protecting her from impurity and from being simply one of the crowd. There is a people saying “I do” to receiving the protection, and sacrifice and guidance of a redeemer, one who lives and speaks and walks the truth. There is an “I do” to mankind being lifted up from the mire of the relentless violence and fornication, the pursuit of money, vanity and fame that characterizes the mass of our flesh. Behind both the man and wife, I see a crowd of people, not just the extended families being joined through their marriage, but all of humanity, which will be blessed by the power of their union, and which follows with unions of their own.

You shall no longer be termed Forsaken,
Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate…For as a young man marries a virgin,
So shall your sons marry you.
(Isaiah 62:4-5)

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

Rebellion of Sin

It is hard for the mind to wrap itself around the fact that no man does good. This is hard for believers also. It is hard for us to understand how even our righteous deeds are filthy before the Holy One who made us. That man, apart from Christ, simply CANNOT please God. Yet this is what the Bible teaches. Over and over. Apart from faith, we cannot please Him.

One way to understand this is the model of a rebellion. When a rebel leader attempts to knock over the government, that rebel leader certainly does SOME good deeds in is life. Yet the government isn’t really impressed by this, are they? They will send their armies to crush him. Not because he never does anything ethically good. Rather because he is in a state of rebellion. In the 1850s and 60s in China, there was a rebellion led by a Confucian scholar from a provincial town in the south. His name was Hong. Not many people outside China know this, but it is a fascinating and terrible event in history. Hong actually claimed to be the brother of Jesus Christ, and he led a rebellion of “God-worshippers,” one that claimed a territory about the size of a large province, and which could have knocked over the ruling Qing dynasty. Now this rebel leader had done many ethical reforms. He was knows as a reformer. He passed laws against polygamy. He passed laws against judicial torture. Most of us would call them “good.” Not only that, but he had associates who had lived in British territory, and learned a great deal of how their more advanced administration worked. Therefore he began to institute more efficient systems of administration, such as postal services and the like. So basically, the rebel did some GOOD THINGS. He increased ethics and efficiency.

Yet do you think that Hong’s moral laws impressed the emperor of China? Did it please him? Did the emperor say – well that rebel sure is a good man, I’m going to let his armies march across my domain and take the capital right now? Did he say – This genius sure has some good administrative systems, let’s make him our next king instead of me? No, of course not. You see, even the rebel’s righteous deeds were like filthy rags before the emperor. Nothing he could do would please the king. He could pass all the just laws in the book, and he would STILL be condemned. That’s because he was in a state of rebellion, and the emperor sent his armies down south, fought battle after battle, and crushed his rebellion forever. Hong was living in a state of rebellion. Similarly, we are in a state of sin.

You see, what the rebel leader needed to do before the emperor was not pass just laws in his stolen land. It wasn’t to create efficient administration in his stolen land. Rather, it was to surrender, make peace with the emperor, and live submissively in his kingdom. THAT is what he needed to do to please the king. No righteous laws would ever do that. He’d still be under the emperor’s wrath. Only surrender. Submission. Peace. That would please the king. That’s what you and I need to do too. Not pat ourselves on the back for some good deeds. We just need to surrender to the King, accept the peace offering of His Son, and live obediently in the kingdom of God. The rebellion has to end. Then we’ll talk about our deeds possibly being good before God. Not while we are still in rebellion.

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Update posted by Thomas Ackerman On Jul 29, 2018

Like every element of marriage I have discussed, intimacy is deeply related to each other element, in a truly living way. When we give freely in the marriage bed, the man regularly expresses his headship and the woman regularly manifests her submission to him. When we unite, we also bring about new life, become honored with children to train up and set apart for Jesus, and grandchildren who will inherit the faith and teach others. The husband and wife’s unity for their life will ensure both the faithful continuance of the faith, and the care and protection of the children. The house, full of Gods miracle of new life will need the woman’s loving and caring work, to keep the home, help the husband and nurture the children that intimacy produces. That knowing one another produces. From a unity that reflects the triune God.

The Almighty causes us to give freely in marriage, because it brings about His purposes and uplifts man in who he is. Ephesians 5 says a man who hates his wife hates his own flesh. (vs.29) It is not speaking about physical union, but the same principle applies. To reject intimacy with the spouse God has given us is hatred of self. Hatred of our own flesh. To reject this physical union is to reject our spiritual one. It is to hate our marriage and what it represents. I truly sympathize with the many partners I’ve heard about who are refused intimacy in marriage. Such a refusal is an attack on marriage, and it makes Christians look like unhappy and selfish people. It has likely been the cause of much adultery as well. God’s path is to give freely. His path is always right.


Note: These portions have been edited, but not necessarily a final edit, so the book version may be slightly different.

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Much thanks for your support, brother. Peace to you.

Thomas Ackerman

Posted On Jul 27, 2018

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