Hello to you Internet my only friend. You've always been there for me and I hope you'll be there now when I most needed.
The sad fact that I knew - I will die soon. I'm only 28, but for me the end is near. Doctors are now saying nothing will help anymore. Brain cancer. So horrible words. Cancer is so ruthless and relentless got to me. Found it too late, now it is pointless to engage in treatment. All my hopes and dreams were crushed in a moment. .
All my life I was disabled ( as a child stepped on a rusty nail and got blood poisoning, which later resulted in chronic osteomielit) - I have never had a good job - injury are not allowed to claim for a good job after I graduated. All my life i have problem with my heart. Father left the family early, and I never met real friends in my life. I do not fit into society and my existence was not for somebody valuable and important. Bad to be me. Seems like God hate me..
The most wonderful moment in my life - when i'm managed to meet a great girl. Tatiana. My first and the only one love. She even gave me a daughter, but the happiness was short-lived - she leave us..Hope she will be happy even without me. She deserves it. Now when i know about the disease I'm sent my daughter to the relatives, but what to do next - I don't know. I feel very bad, dear Internet. I don't know what to do now. I so hate my life but I so want to look in the daughter's eyes without permanent shame, I so want to give her anything good.
My heart is full of pain and despair. I love my daughter, but its so sad thing that i will miss everything - I can't be with her when she will sad. Couldn't share her joy. Can't play with her. She so small and so lovely. And she so early will lose her father. So all I can do is try to somehow help her with her future. I would like to leave her a financial legaсy which will help her study at school and university in the future. Also I would like to help my mom - she sacrificed her happiness to rise me. Unfortunately, I did't have time to give her cause to be proud of me at this short period of time. I was the only one who can help both of them with good future but this cancer ruin all plans and dreams...
I understand that the amount can to surprise someone, shock someone and somebody will say "who the hell you think you are" but please, internet, try to understand me - it's my little daughter, my little Princess. My little Arina. The best thing in my life. My lovely daughter. And I wish that I fully provide for her, since dad's not around. That's all I can give her and that is all that will remain after me. I would like to know that she will be ok. I have no one to ask and I have no one. So I try to find somebody who will be my hope and my hero on GoGetFunding. Weakness everywhere but not in my soul - inside myself i'm fighting like a tiger. I must win to her. May the force (and the internet power) be with me.
I'm want to believe that my personal superhero and savior, my personal angel is near and he can help me and my little princess. Pls dear internet, my only friend, you so mighty and powerful..Please help me, be with me.
God didn't hear my prayers, but I want to believe that good,incredible people will hear.