£20.00Donated So Far
Hi guys i started this page to try and get enough money to put together a book of no less than 20 poems and short stories based on my struggles as a child,teenager and adult. These cover everything from self harming what caused me to do it and a indepth look into my upbringing. More than this i have detailed what it was like to be resuscitated for the first time and my opinion on the whole "life flashing before your eyes" :)
Below are some sample of the poems as you can see they are accompanied by artwork (not final versions) i am also planning on doing a audio book as i do a lot of work with people who are blind.
Sadly my recording equipment is dismal and would love to be able to get a better mic and pop filter or maybe even studio time regardless i have posted two short videos with me reading specific poems out loud.
The Cosmic Revolver Of Hope - A poem written by william montgomery
The gun is loaded six bullets in i give the barrel a spin my patience is wearing thin why not commit one last sin.
I put it against my head one pull and i will be dead i take another swig of my beer to help with the fear.
A single tear falls down my cheek i have never felt so weak fed up trying the only option left is dying.
Why live life when you have no future kids or wife and can only cope with the voices when they dont influence you choices.
You wake every night not feeling right with no end in sight just a nightmare to give you a scare its not fair and does any one truly care?
This mental pain is such a drain i cant take the strain the pills just give cheap thrills and the scars just remind me how close i became to being behind bars.
I took drugs fought and stole cars spent many a night under the stars those little sparkles of light became a delight i would count them all.
Wishing that one would fall in the eternity of space i feel so small i intend to spend this day to send my soul into the abyss with a bullets metal kiss.
I remember when i was just a kid and the things i did
i disrespected those who loved and cared for me i could not see
what they tried to make me be a product of society instead of gaining notoriety
i drank until my shadows shrank i felt like a tank invincible but i was just a fool a tool
i learned to hate and learned too late to stop my self reaching hells gate
i never had a true mate till i was 16 and even then i was a typical teen
being mean but the things i seen violence then silence people died and i cried
no matter how hard i tried i could not escape my past time went by too fast
dad fell in love and we moved when push came to shove to rathcoole and changed school
i tried to make madge my mother and be a brother to pamela and another william
but it did not work and which started of with a smirk turned into a quirk
i got involved with drugs and exchanged them for solder shrugs and a witty remark
and our family lost its spark it slowly whittled in the winter and my soul yet again did splinter
i moved in with my uncle who gave me a bed to rest my head but it was not a home and tigers bay i did roam
doing all kinds of shit behaving like a tit trying to find a place to fit when i belong i was strong psyhically
but mentally going down hill i swallowed many a pill and wanted to die i started to cry and asked god why
i got no reply so yeah i cut with as knife never did i think i would be alive now i still dont know how
and i have a future with a gorgeous woman who saved me from death that must is true she has no clue
i am finally living the way i want to and its all because of you cause u helped me through the dark and became the light
that helps me fight.
I used to rely on pain to deal with the thoughts going through my brain cutting just to remain sane
Such a drain watching out the window as the rain began to fall and feeling small only heading the devils call
It was not until i met you that i could stand tall you taught me it all with your smile and it made the scars worth while
For so long i was in denial barely making it past each trial now all i have to do is think of your smile
And i know your with me i can finally see beauty elegance and class eyes made from glass reflecting
what is within it makes me want to sing and the minute i gave you that ring i became your king
your my everything and more the woman that i adore my emotion i pour and continue to give everything i swore
i would because you helped me when no one else could i was dying and gave up trying spent days crying
lying sighing wishing for death begging to take my last breath laying in a pool of blood watching the flood
throat slit could not make the jigsaw fit i fell into a bottomless pit took drugs to replace hugs from my mother and brother
there was no love for one another and all three of us began to suffer i did drink so i no longer had to think
never did i think i could become whole and find a kindred soul you made me whole
Thank you baby for making me the man i am today what more can i say you showed me the way
- william montgomery
- Campaign Owner
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