From 18 to forever! or so we wish…

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One very warm night, the 24th of October 2003 to be more specific a young (very) young lady fell in love with a handsome very pea cocky fella. They danced together, shared jokes together, had fun together and then kissed..... Yes we did. I know I was only 15 and my Anton was a daring 21 year old.

I was in love for the first time ever!!! (no really 1st time ever)

So the young ones started dating. We used to go out together only until 10 PM that was my curfew, yes dear children our parents use to give us a curfew to keep us out of trouble.(I know right)

Any way we had so much in common we grew up the same way had the same taste in music which was country music. We both grew up very poor. By poor I mean that I lived in a old school that rented out rooms in Pretoria west with my parents and my two sisters. Anton lived with his mom in pilditch place and just started working for SBV.

In 2004 my mom had enough of the suffering and left to go back to her family in East London as my dad did not get enough money to keep us afloat. she took my two sisters with her, I was invited to join but, I loved my dad so much and could see that this broke him and not only this but I have met the man of my dreams. How would I ever have lived without him?

I stayed then my little sister Angela who is deaf mute decided she wants to stay she cried and begged my mom and finally my mom left her behind with me. Angela was attending Transoranje school for the deaf in Pretoria west. I used to have to get up at 04:00 am to start making lunch for Angela and my dad. It was always peanut butter and jam sandwiches. then I had to iron our shirts from the wash that I gave it that night as we could not afford new ones. Yes we used to go to school with the same shirt it was just washed at night. My dad always said in afrikaans "Jy kan arm wees maar jy kan skoon wees". This is one life lesson I will never forget.

We would be ready for school at 6;00am Anton was driving a green little Mazda Midge that he has bought trough the bank after a few months at SBV. He would help me in dropping Angela at school and then me at Pretoria west High school and then off he would go to work. I have arranged with a lady working at aftercare at Transoranje that Angela can stay after school as I could only collect her again after Anton gets back to work, my dad had no transport and it was rather far to walk.

Anton would collect her from school after he was done at work. He was the best. I think I would not be here if it wasn't for Anton. sometimes he would bring us bread as he used to know when there was really nothing. after really knowing how hungry you can be. I then decided to let Angela rather go back to my mom as having her fed was much more important then having her with me. I was sad and cried for days. I have always felt very protective over her.

My dad finally found a better paying job and along with money comes a girlfriend. We just could not get along - at all. we has so many fights that Anton would come to fetch me and I would just start crying and crying. after about a month of this he said enough. He asked my dad if I can move in with him he will get his own little bachelor flat in Piditch and he will take care of me as well as make sure I finish school.

That being said I was in Grade 10 by this time and only 17 years old.

Me and Anton had the best time I was in school and couldn't say a word about me living with my boyfriend because, what if the welfare found out?

I finally finished matric and by this time me and Anton have been together for 4 years.

I started my first job as a reception lady at a Financial brokerage. I was so happy because all these years I knew that I have my own personal Angel always by my side.

On my 21st birthday that Anton planned all by himself. He asked me to marry him and I said yes even before he finished his sentence. We planned to get married by having a very small wedding only my dad my little sister Angela and his small family. Then Anton's father passed away. he was very sick and we have been spending nights with him in Pretoria west hospital.

so there goes our planning and money as we could only put away R200.00 a month.

Going forward life gets rather though. We realize that life is not cheap by this time we have moved to a one bedroom flat in Centurion.

I am going to skip a few years because this can turn into a really sad novel. Its the year 2012 and Yolandi and Anton are still together and still not married.

I wake up every morning feeling sick being tired. this is not on. I now work at a law firm as a secretary my dearest colleague Christel said are you sure you are not pregnant? Pregnant! really and then reality hits. I run to Clicks buy one of those R28 pregnancy at home sticks. I read the brochure I am supposed to test the next morning. I cant wait I want to know now. I run to the bathroom sit and think about how this could be the best news ever. Still thinking in the back of my mind that it will be negative and then boom. It is not negative.

I am pregnant and so happy.

Anton did not even have time to open the car door for me when he came to fetch me at work that day. I yelled it as soon as I swinged the doors open. He was so happy he called his mom and sister immediately

I went to my first sonar and all looked well. I am definitely pregnant. This is the best year of my life. after meeting Anton of course. Me and Anton's sister are 2 peas in a pod. She guides me with all the do and don'ts. We will never be seen without each other. My second sonar is up and She tells Anton that she will be attending it along with us. As the 3 of us walk in its a whole new world to me and Anton. I lay down and the news is not good. There are clear sighs of Trisomy 18 also known as Edwards syndrome. I am broken as I run to the bathroom in the doctors room. I lock myself and break down against the door. I can hear Poppie crying on the other side and she tells me it will all be ok. this cant be that bad. Anton is talking to the Doctor trying to find out if there is anything he can do.

There was nothing none of us could do.

They advised me (Kalafong Hospital) to abort the baby because she would not make it... wait did they just say she - I have a little girl ---- wait what abort. You want me to abort my baby because she will not make it this is what I kept on screaming at the Gynie. I was devastated but did not abort my own child. after doing a Amniocentesis test that went terribly wrong I went home crying Poppie kept on calling me and asking if I have felt the baby moving and I realized that she has been still for really long. Poppie picked me up the next morning and took me to emergency were the sonar gave me the worst news in the world. My baby girl is dead.

There goes another 2 years of getting over it and Yolandi and Anton are still not married.

Its the year 2015 me and Anton are together now for 12 years.

WOW. We are planning to get married again we now are able to put away R500 a month. and then I find out I am Pregnant again. This time all went well my perfect little boy AJ is born into this world. He is my everything him and his daddy.

its 2018 and Yolandi and Anton still are not married!!!!!

I at this stage don't even want to get married because whenever we start something bad happens. I don't want anything bad to happen I am so happy with life. Ok so we start planning again lets just get it over with are Anton's words. I love you all I want is you since for ever. Ok so we start planning a wedding and the whole family starts laughing at us and says. You guys are planning this for so long, why not just go to the magistrate court? I do not want to sound bratty but I have grown up poor I have lived poor. I don't want a really poor wedding,

So we start saving again.....

I know this must be boring you. but its all true and this all really real to me and Anton you can ask all our families.

in November 2018 my Hero my dad passes away in front of me because of a heart attack. I tried my best to resituate him but it was fatal. I couldn't stop crying. but eventually got over it.

its 2019 Anton and Yolandi are still not married. we are together now for 16 Years AJ is our son is 4 years old.

I found out that I am pregnant again but after 7 weeks start getting terrible cramps eventually after a sonar they say it an ectopic pregnancy's and I will need surgery. Surgery that was supposed to last 2 hours turned into 5 hours.. Anton was loosing it they just kept on telling him that I have lost a lot of blood and there was some complications. when I came out my dearest Anton was crying so hard he kept on hugging me and telling me that he loves me and that he was sorry I felt so bad I felt like what type of woman am I that I cant even make healthy children. I was broken but at least I had my awesome fiancé and my perfectly healthy little boy.

Its the year 2020 its the year of Covid!!!

Antons Mother passed away due to Cancer after a very long fight.

Covid, Lockdown and all those other fun stuff happened.

Now it the year 2021 I know its still COVID but I want to get married to the love of my Life we dont have the money for a perfect wedding so I am up for any donations to assist me.

I have already send out the save the dates.

We are getting married the 4th of September 2021 come what may.

Please help us.

Yolandi Botha

[email protected]



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