I can't believe I am actually doing this. I was raised never to ask for help, to always do as much as I can on my own, and if I can't, then I should just give up and move on.
However, times have changed, I have changed and it's not just me I have to think about anymore.
I am a single mom living in Croatia, and it has been challenging.
Firstly, because Croatia is still a country that very much undermines women, so wherever you work you are constantly being degraded in one way or another, and of course paid less (Although no company will admit this publicly.)
Secondly, Croatia is very expensive. Very, very expensive. Especially during the summertime when prices go up because all the greedy companies want to make as much profit as they can while the 'stupid tourists,' are here.
Croatians in general have a very backward mindset. Instead of appreciating the tourists that basically feed them, and giving them more value for their money, they find the cheapest way possible to make more of it. It's horrible to watch, and hard for us who live here because all these prices that go up, go up for us as well, yet our paychecks stay the same.
So what about me? How do I stand out?
Well, I spent the first 18 years of my life moving around. My dad worked for the ministry of foreign affairs, so I got to see some of the world. When I turned 18, I decided to move back to Croatia, to get to know my country, my people.
It turned out to be so far from what I expected, that its actually comic.
Unless you've lived in Eastern Europe you cannot know how hard it is to raise a family when you're just like everyone else, let alone when you're a little bit different. But when you're really different, it is almost impossible to live here without being depressed, anxious, and feeling like an outcast. No matter how hard you work, how kind you are, no matter how anything that in any other country would have you moving up the ladder, here they will bury you.
So here I am asking for help.
I spent 8 years in the United States, where I ultimately finished high school, and I would love to go back.
It is the only place where I've ever felt like home. Where I can excel, because I have a two and a half year old baby who needs me to provide. And I don't want to provide him with a half-a$$ed (Excuse my expression) life, which is what he would have here. There is only so much they offer you here for your kids, and if they do, you've got to drive an hour and a half to Split, or six hours to Zagreb, which no one can afford, so your child is limited to school and the park, and maybe some small town soccer team.
I just don't want him to grow up like that, and I don't want to be stuck in the same position for the rest of my life. I am very capable, I speak multiple languages, and I know I would do excel living in a place that is familiar to me.
I know that there a million causes out there much more worthwhile, and I promise that I will do as much as I can for the rest of my life to help others. I will give back the help I get here.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please help me create a better tomorrow for me and my baby.