Fix the tooth, fix the head

Please help me to be my joyful self again.

I have a large tooth abscess that has spread into the bone and if left untreated can be life threatening.

Approximately five years ago I found a small bump on my gums. After visiting an ill-informed dentist I was sent home and was told that he could do nothing about it, except pull my tooth! The experience scared me so much and as I had no pain I did not think to follow up and thought that it is harmless.

I started feeling weak and went to visit a doctor who put me on an eating and exercise plan. Within time the weakness persisted and I researched and tried every avenue to the best of my knowledge to try and fix it. Visited doctors, regularly checked my blood sugar levels, B12 levels, vitamin, and water intake. I started being hard on myself telling myself I am just not doing enough yoga or that it is somehow related to what I do. I questioned whether it could be just plain depression making me feel tired without my regular lust for life.

The situation got so bad during November of last year that I had to be put on a drip for half a day while at work and sleep for three days straight. I could just not function and work as I was supposed to and decided to move back home. It has been torture for me. At the moment I find it extremely hard to concentrate, have constant brain-fog and dizziness. It limits my ability to drive, makes daily functioning much harder and adds incrementally to the stress of my daily life.

The feeling, as I have best tried to describe it, is completely dissociative from reality, out of control (as if drunk or high) and completely out of it. As everything has become much harder to do it is completely sucking all the joy out of my life. Every day is a constant battle to stay sane. My eyes lose focus easily and I just wish that I could feel OK again. The stress has caused me to have episodes of vertigo earlier this year, which have luckily subsided.

Recently I went for a hearing test and my hearing came back healthy, although the eustachian tube on my left ear is completely blocked and does not equilibrize as it should. This is, most likely, as a result of a build-up of fluids caused by the tooth abscess that first appeared 5 years ago. Instead of releasing fluids it is being kept inside, blocking areas necessary for balance and normal functionality. The abscess was caused by a root canal that went wrong.

The result is that I now have an olive-sized hole in my top jaw, extending to my nasal cavities into my skull. I need to go for an operation so that the Maxillo-Facial and Oral surgeon can make an incision on my upper gum, cut the root of my tooth inside the gum, drain the septic fluids from within my skull and replace the missing bone due to the abscess with bone fragments that will grow back over time.

I am absolutely terrified of having the operation and being unable to work for a week or two (as I work on a commission base) and I am hustling to be able to pay rent. However, I am even more terrified of feeling stuffy, disoriented and miserable for the rest of my life. As I feel now I struggle to work so I think it might be wiser to get the operation done and start working and living again at full force after my recovery.

Even though I am on a medical aid I still need to contribute between $300 to $600 towards the medical expenses only to get the operation. It is such a small thing (one tooth) that eventually impacts my life in a very big way. I hold on to the knowing that I will feel better soon, as soon as I can get this done.