I have been fighting with Depression since a very young age. It took me a lot of efforts to make my parents realise that I am suffering and the atmosphere of our home and the kind of relationship we have with each other is only making it more and more difficult for me. I started seeing different psychiatrists and doctors from an early age of 19 years. Sometimes the medicines will help me for couple of months and then all of a sudden the systems will come back more aggressively. Finally different psychiatrists diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder and Attention Deficiency Disorder.
At the age of 28 I became one of the India's best hacker and I got a call from the Director of NTRO (comes under Indian Govt and NSA-National Security Adviser), to work for them as a Scientist and a Analyst to assist them in securing national IT infrastructure. There I got the opportunity to work with CBI as well as ATS.
I worked there for 2 years until I had my first severe attack which forced me to leave the job as I could not even manage to come out of my room because of depression. After spending around one and a half year at home I got another opportunity to work for MI (Military Intelligence) in J&K. After working there for a little more than 1 year I got another attack which made me leave the job and again spend around 2 years at home.
Later I started working at private companies but I could not work at any one place for more that one and a half year to two years.
I am 36 now and the last job I had was with Mahindra Defence Services. I am out of job from last approx 3 years and during these 3 years I had to be hospitalised at NIMHANS (National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Science- Bangalore). Out of these 4 hospitalisation, 3 times I had to get ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy) as the medicines were not working or not showing the results properly.
I am staying in Delhi right now with my parents because what ever little bit savings I had was all spent in treatment and hospitalisation and medicines. Right now I am not in a condition to even afford my medicines and I am completely dependent of my parents for what ever expenses are there. My father is a retired Govt officer and he don't have any pension or any source of money.
Monthly expense of my medicines and my trip to Bangalore which I have to do once every month, easily reaches upto 20,000 RS.
Right now I am trying to get back on my feet and planning to change my career so that I can do freelancing and can work from home even if I get a job as a full stack web developer. To make it possible I need to complete couple of online certifications and exams and most importantly I need to get a powerful computer/laptop as the course I am doing needs a lot of CPU power and graphics support. Right now all i have is a small netbook which I can use only to do some online research and read books and other papers.
I am in desperate need of help so that at least in next 6 months I can be in a position to get back my life together and start to live a normal life again.
I need all the support and encouragement I can get from all of you, doesn't matter how big or small. Every single rupees means a lot to me and it will help me to attain the goals I have right now which is to complete my treatment and get back on my feet.
I appreciate all of you to give your time to me and go through my story.
Here is a pic of mine before and now.....
Before and now