Felix’s cancer treatments

A much long-overdue update from Felix, thank you for your love and patience :

This is the day, September 27th, 2018, after the completion of all planned treatments comprising of phase 1 and phase 2, chemo then concurrent chemo and radiotherapy (RT) treatments, total of 18 monstrous weeks. Ouuuuu ahhhhh....

Firstly, my sincerest apologies for such a delay in any updates since the June 17th.

During the initial stages of phase 1 treatments, I had in my mind that I would still be able to function relatively well, considering the brute force of the treatment regiment, I just thought, I can take this on no worries. Not going to be a walk in the park, but at least I'm sure I'll face it full on and be able to write a bit and work a little...

Wow, talk about under-estimating the side effects of such treatment regiment. The oncologists weren't kidding when they warned me about the scaling of the side effects, as the weeks went by, the side effects were equally exponential...

My mind and body tired easy. Nausea was tripling in discomfort every week, hands were getting numb to the point where I can't hold a pen or type properly, lost all taste buds so everything started to taste like cardboard (delicious I'm sure...), then I couldn't eat or drink at all since the 2nd week of RT treatments as the mouth and throat ulcers started kicking in. My kitchen benches became a fully stocked pharmacy with various mouth wash gargle, all forms of pain killers, meds of all unpronounceable kinds, including those chemo tablets, and lately the liquid morphine, that had those lovely "poison" stickers stuck all over the packaging, reminding me just how potent this stuff is that I'm ingesting... More than anything else, this part of the journey was quite daunting, as it's my daily ritual.

But as the gloom over shadowed my daily life and pain was my middle name during this time (hence the lack of any updates here).....

I also felt like I am one of the luckiest person in the world. A strange mix of emotions I know. But truly I felt this way.

Over the past 18 weeks, I had witness the love, unconditional support, messages of hope and from others who either have gone through similar journeys themselves or who were willing to share their family/friends' stories with me, encouraging me to hammer through this and get to the end goal of recovery. So many showed me the support, that I, at many times, feels undeserving. I was overwhelmed with how many people are out there for little ole me. I was honored to have many people organizing various fund raisers, collecting donations for my cause, clients from my business who became friends of mine over the years, peeps like Eric who pushed Lisa and me to get this campaign into traction and spreading the news, Derek with a heart of gold and pledged 2 of his amazing Oct running races to raise donations for our cause, Anthony and Jamie who organized a fund raise comedy evening within such a short time and raised an amazing amount for the cause - a night when I saw the amount of love shown to me by all our mates, peeps where our paths crossed momentarily, people I have not yet met before, there was so much sunshine and happiness in the Takeout comedy venue that night - even a surprised chippendale from downunder threw down his covers to raise more funds also...... long story ;) that had me balling my eyes out all night, a very emotional evening. (I saw the event on a video shot by a St. Baldrick's volunteer, who shared with me later as I could not attend unfortunately)

The most important life lessons I've ever had, happened over these past 18 weeks. I'm sure these lessons will continue. I'm privileged to be able to discover a small part of this within my life time. And it may sound cheesy, but I could not have done this, not even close, if I didn't have my kiddo and wifey, my family, my mates and the amazing peeps I've had the chance to cross paths with, many of these phenomenal people became my Circle. They banded around me without questions or hesitation to provide my support beams. And without these guardian angels, I really think perhaps there may have been a different result, perhaps a darker take, on my past 3.5 months journey.

Now that my long road to recovery has finally arrived, there's light at the end of the tunnel. The last scan showed the tumors were reducing somewhat in size. They will also check for my cancer markers by end of this month to get more data on what's happening. And regular CT and MRI scans will be scheduled by the oncologists, staring in Dec/Jan, the first follow up scans usually is 3-4 months after the completion of the treatment phases.

So for now, thank you dear kind folks, for all your love. It truly means the world to me. I promise I will remain positive with this wonderful Circle you guys have created around me. I will kick the crap out of this C until it's out of my body.

Just like to send everyone a love felt thank you and our deepest gratitude for all the love and support everyone from far and wide who have shown us truly how lucky and fortunate we are. I like to share below a brief update from Felix. And wishing all the fathers out there a fantastic happy Father's Day.

from Felix 20180617 :

A father's wish on father's day, is to be able to spend it with his kiddo and hang out for the day, doing fun stuff together, laugh together and generally lap up the company of a funny, naughty, active, non-stop talking, energetic and loving little kid. So today, on father's day, I got my wish, however unlikely, it happened.
I was meant to be spending father's day at the hospital with the start of my chemo cycle 2, which was supposed to start yesterday.
But my Friday blood test showed an unusual drop in my white blood cell count, to a point that the oncologist said, we need to give you one more week off to build that count up before taking on round 2.... I was actually quite gutted initially, as I had felt quite good physicslly during my week off after fighting the side effects from the first cycle of chemo, although rest week turned into a stressful week, but, I had prepared mentally to go into battle again for cycle 2. Then they tell me it ain't going to happen....
That's life right, I was so concerned about the delay having drawbacks on the effectiveness of my chemo cycles regime... then, I had time to think about it more - one more week means I get to hopefully have nice weather to execute my original plan of spending some time relaxing on a beach (the past week has been raining non-stop), spend some time in the office catching up with a little work, do some of the things I wanted to do for myself and be a bit selfish so I can spend time by myself, but most important of all, I don't have to spend father's day in a hospital bed drugged up to my eyeballs in chemo meds, but instead get to hang with my fun loving kiddo!! I think someone up there, whatever the entity, is actually trying to help me get through this and let me have time to chill after the week I've had, mysteriously along the way, it all works out.
I've no clue what the grand plan is, but the events leading up to these thoughts above, I say, is a pretty awesome one in its own ways. A bit of a win.
Apart from the mysterious forces that have led the charge in the way things have happened this past week, I've also had a little more time to read over what everyone has written, posted, reposted, planned, sent, emailed, and it's hit me like a ton of bricks, that although I feel a bit undeserving, as there are plenty more people out there with more desperate needs than me and my family, but yet, I'm very very fortunate, as a single child, to have all your love out there, that feels like, closest I'll get, to be my extended family, and feels like having a ton of siblings, if this is what it feels like to have siblings, the biggest wish I've ever had since I was a young kid.
It's an unreal feeling, it's strange, but it warms my soul (sorry, I know, a bit mooshy....).
This past week, I found out, a friend passed away, someone I thought who is vivacious, strong, fun loving, yet, she had a dark side that took her in the end. I didn't know her well, but I would never have guessed that would be her end. It served as a reminder for me at that moment when I heard the news, in the real world, many may suffer from such termoil within, and I wonder, if only she knew what amount of love and support she has out there in her circle, like I'm realising myself as a result of my illness, about the circle of love I have out there for me, whether the dark would have taken her.
For that, I cannot say enough thanks ever, no amount of thanks really in the world would be enough, to you guys out there, who have shown me what an extraordinary extended family I have, how lucky I really am actually, and how wide my circle of love is.
For that, I rather take one for the team, statistically speaking, if that means my family, extended family, and circle of love, would never ever have to deal with such an illness in their life time.
And by the way, Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Have an awesome day!!
Love, Felix.