Fat, Broke and Hardly Living

My name is Mike, I'm 40 years old and have struggles with weight my whole life. I was the person that always flucuated in weight and as i have gotten older the battle has become harder and harder. I'm working towards getting out of debt so I can pursue a weight loss surgery. I have a high deductible insurance and need to come up with money to get this set up. I know times are tough for everyone out there so I dont expect really much from this but I had to give it a try. I'm sick of being the obese lonely guy that goes to work and comes home to a lonely apartment everynight. I'm tired of always being tired and not able to do as much as i wish i could. I'm tired of spending every holiday by myself... every valentines day and new years with nobody there. I'm tired of making my mother cry and light candles at church because both my parents are worried that they will end up burying me. I'm 5-9 330lbs and hate what i see in the mirror everyday. I was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and severe anxiety. I dont want to die, I want a shot at a long healthy life and i have made steps with going to a gym now and fixing my diet but i need this huge kickstart to force the situation. If you can help at all even with a quarter or just a friendly message of encouragement so i can learn how to love myself and once that happens hopefully find one who loves me.