Family in Despair

Well ok let me start off by saying Thank you for taking the time to read my story. What you read here is 100% true and honest from the bottom of my heart. This section should be titled "Spill your guts here" because that's what I'm about to do.

I'm 34 years old and have had an extremely rough life. I've dealt with murder, suicides, homelessness, a divorce, infertility and just everyday struggles. I feel like if it's not one thing it's another.

My own father was murdered when I was 9 years old. Every since then, life has been insanely crazy. Aside from that, I've been in an out of counseling most of my life. This incident alone has caused severe family feuding my entire life on both sides of the families. And still to this day....they all hate each other and this has left his 3 children cold and distant from either side of our family. I found out the whole story last year, and it's so horrific it could be a book. It just keeps going even 25 years later. Simply unbelievable. So in telling you this, tells you that I DONT have family I can rely on. This destroyed all of us on some level.

A little about me, I'm always the one that comes running when I have a friend in need. Last year, I collected NON monetary donations from the community to deliver Christmas gifts to the forgotten elderlies in our local senior citizen home in my deceased grandmother's name and grace to keep her alive within me. it's what she would have done. We (me and a co worker) managed to collect enough for ALL 90 residents and the smile on their faces was enough for me. I delivered these gifts in an elf costume with love. This year I don't think I have the strength to pull it off. I also spend my free time volunteering at animal shelters. I have a heart of gold when it comes to these things.

I debated even making this page because I don't think anyone will help me. In doing so, with good intentions in mind, I have a dream. I dream to one day own my own home. I live paycheck to paycheck so a down payment is just not in the budget. My credit is shot due to lots of medical bills and a bad divorce so right now that's not an option. I've gone from living on disability, to going back to work. Getting back in school for my high-school diploma and into a management position where I'm still living paycheck to paycheck. I'm no longer on disability and giving it my all to do better but I don't feel that I'm making it much further than when I was on disability. I don't want to be stress free. I just want to be able to say, I can make it. With your help, your donation will help with a down payment on a house and save my car from repossession that I'm looking at now. That's all I ask for.

Thank you for your time. I could go on and on but I know you are probably board right now. Thanks a bunch. Carrie