DROWING IN SORROW, DEBT AND DESPAIR, NEED A LIFELINE

In the past year:

1) I lost my fiance of 12 years 6 short months after his stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis

2) I had to place my terminally ill mom, who I was caretaker of and whom lived with me for the past 5 years into a facility 3 hours away from me because her condition has worsened.

3) My stepson took a job that requires him to work out of town a couple months at a time hence leaving me alone with 13 acres of property along with our home to maintain.

4) I lost my job of 5 years after exhausting all my time off and using all my FMLA to be with my fiance during his cancer battle

5) The engine in my only vehicle blew up and I had no money left to replace it

6) I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder and a unruptured aneurysm was discovered in my brain, which I still have, causing migraines

Our savings paid for his funeral, heating oil & pellets (last winter) his estranged sons $700 plane ticket to come attend his service (which he did not attend, instead choosing to attend his mom's family reunion on my dime), and monthly bills for 4 months.

I did start a new job and was doing okay until my health crisis. I could no longer pretend everything was okay, that I was okay. I was depressed and anxious and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have managed to keep my head above water for almost a year but I can no longer tread water and I'm drowning. I have no pellets or heating oil for winter, my car needs almost 1k worth of repairs, all my utilities are 2 months past due and are about to be terminated, my car insurance has lapsed so now I owe DMV over $200 or they will suspend registration, my freezer/fridge/cupboards are empty, I have 10% left in my propane tank for hot water/cooking. ...I could keep going

I have no family to help and no friends in any position to either. I am in the process of trying to get disability and have been denied state assistance because I own a car & home (they would have to be sold). I have NEVER asked for help in my life and if I had any other choice I wouldn't be now. I AM DESPERATE