Up on the house top, drip, drip, drip ...
Hello friends and family! If you've been to my house in the last couple years then you've probably heard me complain alot about my leaky roof. It's super cool to be living in and restoring a little house from 1927. It's super UNCOOL to wake up at 3am to water coming down into your living room and soaking your carefully curated collection of truly awful science fiction novels and comic books. That's where I need your help to make a Holiday Miracle happen!
So what's up?
This Holiday Season, please forgo buying me gifts or giving me presents and instead, consider a contribution to helping me fix my roof.
How much will this cost?
A standing-seam galvanized aluminum roof is gonna run me $7500. I'm asking y'all to help me pay for half of it.
How much should I give?
Short answer: give what you feel (honestly, $5 helps). Better answer: to make things easier (and more exciting), I've divided the half of the roof that you'll be paying for into a 5x10 grid. Each square in the grid costs $65. Check out this handy diagram:
So what do I get out it?
In addition to helping me pay for my roof and allowing me to live in dry, luxurious comfort, once per year you are entitled to join me on the eastern lawn of my spacious estate where I will give you one (1) bottle (12 oz.) of beer and point out your square of the roof that belongs to you. I will then give you one high five or hug (your choice) and tell you "thank you very much."
Is this for real?
Yup. I don't want gifts. All I want for Christmas is to live in a house that doesn't fill up with water and transform into a fire hazard every time it rains.
Wait, does this mean you're not buying ME gifts this year?
Nah, dude. I got you. I'll buy you something nice for the holiday. I love y'all.
I have questions.
Hit me up on my mobile - 210.331.1403 or email me at [email protected]