DOWN N OUT WITH NOWHERE TO BOUNCE

I work with children with special needs, and our work schedule only allows us to work 9 months out of the year. That means I am out of work 3 months of the year and have to find a way to fend for myself without income or partial income. I give alll of myself to my job and love my dearly. I have been looking for a second job for over a year now with no luck. But I will keep searching until God blesses me with that job I desperately seek. The situation I'm in has had me make choices I would have loved not to make, or be put in a sutation to have it confront me or had to consider.  Those choices came when I was between a rock and a hard place and is one reason I' am being held hostage by it. The hostage holder is two loans I took out to keep myself from drowning( so I thought). But that was just the devil putting a noose around my neck and pulled me further down the ocean. In just two weeks I will be confronted a gain by that devil and I'm frieghten to death, as I will not have enough finances to cover my expenses. I have rent, gas, electric, that I have not been able pay in 2 months. I a car payment, so I could have a half way decent car to get me to work, then theres the inurance on the car that you have to have, the water bill, and to have Tv. Just  thinking of things to come, I'm already having sleepless nights with some discomfort in my chest, nervousiness, stomach cramps, and aching muscles. I'm so afraid of what is going to happen to me. Am I going to be homeless and hungry with nowhere to go . I'm trying to keep my sanity but it is hard and for I pray that God will send his camp of angels around me and lift me up. I haven't even been able to go to church because I have no offering to give. And it's going to turn around on me again come August. That 2x's the stress. I'm worrying all the time. Any support will be used for household expenses , so that can lift my head above water and give me the lift to hold my head to sea level and breathe  and never to have to be confronted with choices I'm not will to make. I am not alone on this journey, as there are others who work with living alone and nowhere to turn and we do this year after after year. I never want to give up my job I love so dearly just for the sake of the devil. But is freightening to live pay check to pay check, and have to depend on food giveaways to eat.                                                                      May God Bless your hearts and souls,