I have lived a very brutal and violent life in my 54 years here on earth. I was the third of three children. My mother left us when I was 9 months old. My dad had no choice but to farm us out to different family members in order to keep us together. At the age of 10, he remarried. He married a "christian" woman. This woman, as it turned out, was a child beater. For the next 16 years I had endured daily beatings with a 1" x 1" stick. To this day, I have no idea what had provoked these beatings. I watched each of my sisters run away from the abuse until it was only me at home to suffer at her hand. This woman subjected me to emotional and physical abuse which has scarred me for life. I too, ran away on my 16th birthday. I was shielded from what the "real world" was like while living in her house. Our time was spent only at church related events. When I ran away, I had no idea what was in store for me.
I ended up being kidnapped and gang banged for approximately two weeks on the day I ran away. I don't remember much of what happened thanks to the power of the mind.
I had two children with my first husband. It wasn't long into our marriage when it became violent. After we separated I was left all alone with two toddlers and no help. After making a terrible decision one night, I lost custody of my two precious babies. I spent the next two years in court fighting for custody of them. At this time I live in MA. In that state the court says, if you are a beaten child, you WILL beat your children. I desperately tried to prove them wrong; unsuccessfully. My children were legally up for adoption after two years of being in foster care. I never saw them again. All I have ever wanted was to have a family that I could love and that would love me back. That was gone in the blink of an eye.
I soon dove into drugs and alcohol. Spent years in and out of one violent relationship after another. I have actually been walked out to the woods with a shot gun to my head by one husband! All this in the pursuit of some sort of love.
I gave birth to my son Joshua when I was 36. Josh was born with downs syndrome. I finally had another shot at having the family I so desperately crave. My poor baby only made it for 3 months. He died of complications from bronchial pneumonia. A month a day later I found out I was pregnant with my youngest child, Amber. Amber and Joshua had the same dad (who is 6' 4" and extremely violent). When I was five months pregnant with Amber I decided to put myself into a homeless shelter so she wouldn't be born into all the violence.
Since her birth, my health has gone down hill. In 2001 I found out that I have hepatitis C. I went through the chemo treatment. I only made it 5 months into a year long regime. It attacked my thryroid and I had to be taken off. The end result of Hep C is cirrohsis and liver cancer. I am now at stage 2 cirrohsis. My liver no longer absorbs iron and I am severly anemic. I also had a lumpectomy for a very rare breast tumor. It was benign but is know for coming back and attacking the lymph nodes and skeletal system. I currently have two lumps in my left breast and one big one in my right.
In 2009 I lost the best job I ever had...company paid benefits; the works. Since then, my life has spiraled downward. We ended up homeless twice...once in 2012 and once in 2013. A friend of mine has offered us a bedroom in her house for 6 months for $400 month plus I pay $367 in foodstamps towards food. My unemployment compensation account has just depleted last week. My friend is not happy with this and reminded me that 6 months ends on Feb. 1st.
This is what has brought me here. PLEASE, anyone reading this, I desperately need your financial help. I have less than 30 days to come up with a security deposit for a room somewhere. I cannot let my daughter suffer with facing homelessness yet once again. She has already lost all her possessions and faith in me. Please help me!