DEPRESSION

Hello To all Whom understand a little about Major Depression Disorder. Well I fell in to a depression back in 2011 is when I really noticed having a hard time to get up to go in to work every day 6 days aweek. It got to the point I Couldn't do my Job as I was in Sales most of my Career. First Flooring Sales then I got in to the Automobile Sales back in 1997. I lost a Brother back in 1985 that was involved in a major car CRASH which he Burned to death in his vehicle.  Still to this day I have a hard time dealing with his Death just the way it all happen its a very Sad Story. Id love to go in to more with my Brothers Death but I don't think I have enough Word Space on here to say and tell the story. All I know is at the time of his death I had to stop working for about 2 months I had falling in a Depression which I didn't even know thats what it was until YEARS later in 2011 it hit me hard had to stop working went on Medication and slept at first for like up to 16 hours a day NOT GOOD RIGHT. Over the Months I slept less and less over time but still Depressed to the Point I couldn't go out my door. Many times over the months I got ready to go out get things done that had to get done and I couldn't get my ass out that door something was holding me back I get undress take some sleeping pills and go back to sleep. IT was OFF THE WALL FOR ME ITS NOT ME IT WAS NEVER ME TO NOT WORK EVER, I've Worked sense i was 15 when I started working full time yes 15 I needed MONEY so i HAD to WORK FOR IT PERIOD. As i have or had 2 Brothers and 2 Sisters all about one year apart and my Parents couldn't support us with spending money too on top of everything else. Anyways Long story short in 2011 I gone in to a depression Aproximately 9 months I wnet back as I had a Mortgage and Car payments Etc ETC and i was falling Thousands and Thousands behind living on Credit Cards. Which now are all MAXED and So far behind I'm runing my Credit over Depression Each Month Falling farther behind and When I gone back to work in 2012 lasted 10 months then I was off 8 Months then tried to go back and here i am OFF ON MAJOR DEPRESSION DISORDER.  AND so many days I just try and try to get back on my feet and evderytime I try I get worse and worse still to this day I'm off and Got out of the Auto Business as I felt that was part of my Depression along with my Brother Passing away and not seeing my Family now for over 10 Years as I'm living in BC and they live in HALIFAX NS. I haven't gone home sense I came back here in 2004 Never Could afford to take time off work as i was on Commission never knew one moth to another what i was going to make again Mortgage Car payments all the other Bills and I'm a SINGLE GUY trying to get ahead in life and now I have nothing due to Depression. THEY SAY DEPERSSION HURTS !!  Well 100% it hurst big time even at my AGE !! I lost everything Including a Flooring Business Years ago my Home Vehicles and Got back on my FEET lost everything once again back on my feet and LOST everything once again. This time I just Can't get my mind back to where i can think CLEARLY its nothing but a big FOG its so FogGED UP I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT Which is holding me back from getting back in the work force. I'm so far behind on all my Monthly Bills I'll never get caught up I was forced to sell my Property Last Year and I lost Month on it On closing day I had to the last Hours come up with Money to give the LAWYER so he Could Close my Property. LOST LOTS OF MONEY ON THAT PROPERTY TOO. I am now in my 50's all i own is some older Furniture how how how SAD is that at my AGE after Working all my life and working like 80 hours a week WORKOHOLIC is what i was I worked  so much i had no time for anyone nore a wife. And now I have Nothing because of it. Anyways Sorry to Bore Everyone here but all I'm asking for is a little help to get some Major Bills paid before i'm put on the Streets.  It's getting to that point I just don't make enough on a small Little Disability ( CPP ) NOT Enough to live on :(    I'm trying to get the proper help to get over this Depression and I need Medication that I can't afford each month.   Thanks for your support   M.Y.