Debt Help, Found my best friend dead

Hi I am 30 years old, I am in deep debt by no fault of my own. I live on my own with my cat.

I dont get to go out much because I dont have the funds.

Because I cant afford to go out I am scared I will always live a lonely life, I am $28,000 in debt. My dearest friend borrowed 18k from me as he got into big trouble and he was always there for me when I needed him so I would do anything for him.

He was living with me at the time as I was also helping him out with living arrangements. April 2011 I woke up and thought it was strange he didnt wake me up for work on his way to the shower.

He didnt over sleep for work very often but if he ever did I would send him a text messages to get him up which he would normally then rush out of his room and thank me on the way past. This time something very different happened....

He had a heart attack in the middle of the night, the first thing I did was ring 999 I had never seen a dead person before and for it to be my best friend in the world made it 10 x harder. I was so scared I went in to shock, before I knew it I had police swarming around my house going through his personal belongings and ambulance crew trying to make me a cup of tea. I hated it, he would have hated it. I felt so bad.

I was meant to go to work that day but had to call in and tell my boss what happened, I didnt know how to say it, not only that I had to ring my friends boss, I was so messsed up I used my friends phone to call his boss and they answered "Hi Ya Mate" my stomach jumped into my mouth, I had to tell him and then ensure he didnt tell anyone until my friends mum knew.

When they went to take my friend away all I remember from that moment was hearing the body bag being zipped up, that still haunts me every time I hear someone do a zip up. The smell left in the room was stuck in my nose for weeks.

I went to work the same day as I couldnt face being in my house alone, I was in major shock.

I couldnt sleep without the lights on and many times I slept in my car up the road because the lights werent left on in the house and I was too scared to enter it in the dark.

Not only that his family lived so far away so I had to arrange my first funeral, as well as go to work, I had to call all his friends that was so hard as I wasnt coping well myself.

Its been over a year now and I miss him so much, Im struggling to live a normal life, tight on money to feed me and my cat, even though I have a job I am paying off so much debt I dont see any of my wages, I have to sell things to keep afloat every month, I now have come to the point where I dont have anything left to sell, my home is looking empty starting to echo, I dont want to lose my home its all I have left as a memory of the good times we had here.

$28,000 is alot of money to me, any help anyone can give me to work towards the right direction would be hugely appreciated and I know my friend would be looking down on whom ever donates and thanking them for looking after me.

I feel embarrassed to have to ask for help but I have tried every option possible and this is my last resort.

Thank you so much for your time in reading my life story.

Claire xx