Hi Everyone, I am Darren. 28 this year.
Ever wonder what does it feels like to be in love with the girl of your dreams but broke?
This is where i am.
I work in the Social Sector for believing in what goes around comes around.
For some reason, i started off as an Assistant Teacher at a Special Needs school with a gross pay of 1.5k. It was my first job and because i never thought that pay was something that matter when you do what you love.
I was actually not very sure of what i wanted in life. I was being mock by my friends of my low paying jobs when my peers are earning way higher. I had a private diploma in digital design as i barely pass my O levels. On top of that my family is never wealthy.
While working in the Special Needs School, i was introduced to Amanda, my now fiancee. Back in the day, 5 years ago. We had our First Date over lunch and the rest was history. Just in a matter of days, we became attached.
Over time, we left the company and started venturing into similar jobs with better positions. Dating back then was tough, she stayed all the way at the end of the city where we were literally in a long distance relationship.
She eventually found a job as a Pre-school Assistant Teacher who was paid also minimum. I thought i was better where i find myself getting into a higher paying job (2k). Time went by, and she was introduced for a conversion course to be a Full-Fletched Teacher by going through a 1 year conversion course. At the same time i was also taking a conversion course to work in the Social Sector.
I continued to take public transport every alternate day after work all the way across the city to meet her for that crucial 2 hours. The total journey is expected to be around 2 hours but I was in love and i never regretted the time we had.
Two and a half year passed yet again, both of us struggled through work, school and spending time together. She began to suffer from depression but we yet to detect it. One day after work, i decided to speak to her parents about her condition but instead we were turned away by them. Mocking us that the working work tend to be difficult.
She continue to struggle through work, but i finally convinced her to quit. We manage to seek treatment, but she was so ashamed of herself. What her parents exact words were "Depression is just your own thinking". I totally lost respect for them after that day. I tried ways to help her. Calming techniques, breathing exercise, meditation. I was not able to really reach out and it was just frustrating.
She being the most filial daughter of the Elder and Younger Sisters, have always been doing the housework, helping with the parents request and doing what she could to please her parents. Yet, Precious Elder and Young Princess always had they way with the parents. Amanda, who did her very best in all she does, never was recognised for her actions.
It is the 5 year dating, I proposed to her one year back with a ring i only could afford and at the awkward lift lobby. Even it was not the best, i felt totally honest to take care of her the rest of my life. Her parents was not too supportive of the decision but i followed my heart and we pulled through.
Since 1.5 years ago, she stopped working after developing anxiety and depression. Treatment is costly and i do not have the financial capabilities to support it.
We applied for BTO. With the support of the grants, we were able to get our flat with little downpayment. But we have to wait 4 years before the house will arrive.
We started to plan for marriage, but knew with only me working, saving money will be tough. Even though i am trying my best to struggle monthly with the bills.
Recently, her parents spoke about our wedding. They demanded for a hefty sum of money and a proper wedding with all the relatives invited. I looked at our budget and we are 25k short. We are still trying to save up, but i worry i might not be able to provide the kind of wedding they expect of me.
Thus, i decided to share my story. I am quite lost and also feeling burnt out, It just seem having a lower paying job does not deserve to be respected in today's context. I chose to help in the Social Sector but now i felt that i did a wrong choice doing that.
I wanted to start a Self Love web service to remind people to do Self Love. You can visit us at https://lilac-hut.com/about/ to know more, we are trying to work on the details.