Yea, we could lie to you and tell you we need to raise money for some great cause like ending world hunger, child abuse or cat juggling; but, then, we would have to fake tax exempt status, produce receipts, forge records to convince you we were the real deal. Of course, we aren't above that level of trickery. We are merely too lazy to pull it off. I mean, Damn, that would be a lot of work. So, this is one of those rare moments in life when the truth actually is the best policy. (Yes, your mother lied to you about that. Don't be too hard on her. All parents lie. It's their job.)
We need to get away, away from wives, girlfriends, jobs, bills, responsibilities, haircuts, oil changes, children, adopted Russian girls who help around the house (well, they may come with us), just life in general and there is only one proper stress relieving, maximum relaxation, sensory overload event that offers the break from reality we crave, Cracker Campout 10 in Pioneertown, CA, three days filled with music, desert night skies, adult beverages, crumbs, rocks, sand and some good folks looking to simply get away. Sound familiar? Sounds great, doesn't it? It is just what we need, right?
There is one problem, however. Flying 3000 miles in a biplane, staying in roach motels, living off of ramen noodles and drinking moisture from sliced cacti still requires monetary consideration. In other words, we need some cash to make this mad dash. This is where you come in. This is your chance to shine, to show the world your grandiose generosity, to prove to your wife that you do have feelings. We aren't asking for you to mortgage your house and send the proceeds to us (Although, it could be a BIG tax write off.), merely make a small to enormous gift. In return you will receive that warm fuzzy feeling from doing a good deed, helping those in need and if you happen to be at the Campout with us, we will buy you a round - with your money. We are so generous it hurts.