Connor Pietersen FTM Top Surgery

Good day Friends

My name is Christopher Connor Pietersen, I'm a 26 year old Transgender male from South Africa. My Goal for this Fund is to make my dream come true to be the man I desire to be and want to become, to get there I really need YOUR help.

I started hormones on the 10th of August 2016. I found myself at a cross road in 2012 when I first heard the word "Transgender". Never knew the meaning of this word, never knew it would change my life for the better. Only one word helped me to find myself, get to know who I am and what I'm supposed to be...a real man! I felt so frustrated at times with my body, with the whole female pronoun and a lot of people labelized me as a lesbian. I could never relate with the word or lifestyle and it was tough at times being judged for something you're not. There were times I just kept my mouth shut when people think they know me, or think they know what I'm attracted to, sometimes even told me what to do and how wrong I am. I was on this unfamiliar road, a fight between who I know I am inside and what people want me to be...I didn't had a clue where to go, who to talk with or what's the difference between right and wrong. What is right and what is wrong? Well I figured it out on my own through the years, growing up...my wrong and right will always be different from others but I can't see that it's wrong in anyway to be a happy "Person", to be happy with your body, to be comfortable in your own skin, to dress according to how you feel and how you're suppose to and not feel like a clown dressed up to entertain people. You only got this one life, this one chance to be a happy human being...so why waste it? Why waste time? Start now...even if you're not transgender. It doesn't matter who or what you are, the question is...are you happy and are you comfortable with yourself? At the end of the day my goal is to die a happy man.

I also have dreams like anybody else and no matter what it takes I'm gonna make every single dream come true. I've been quiet too long, I've been standing back watching every one grow and making a success of their lifes. Getting married, start a family, go on vacations, work for what they want in life, and here I am...still standing, waiting for the perfect opportunity just because I'm insecure about my body. But I'm pround to be and become the man I am inside and starting to become on the outside aswell, not about what I know I can do in life but about my body, my voice, how other people will look at me, what they think of me.

Then again I wouldn't change a thing about my life, I think everything happened for a reason and it couldn't be more perfect even if there where times and by times I mean most of the time where I was at that same cross road asking myself questions like: "Why me? Why this body? Why does it have to be me? To be born like this so that other people can judge me? Why can't I also take my shirt of and swim with all of my friends? Why this struggle to understand what life's all about?". I've asked many times, many questions... I felt unhappy, angry, miserable, unloved towards myself. No, I don't feel sorry for myself but I think we all come to a point in life where we question surtain things about our lifes and it's great!!! That's where a change is born and most of us are too scared or freaked out about change. Life is about change, chances and choices, if you don't take chances and make choices then you won't see change, then I can tell you that you'd never lived. You'll stay trapped in a jail with open doors and you will never set yourself free. It's time to live, now is the time and now is our time!

I've made this choice all by myself...I was a sad, a unhappy person, making everyone around me unhappy because I wasn't happy with myself. I've hurt a lot of people just of the simple fact of not knowing myself 'cause I never had the chance to find myself, always putting others before me and it was starting to build up inside. My relationships didn't work out, I struggled a few times to get a propper job, couldn't socialize the way I'm suppose to, didn't have the self confidence to take on oppertunities or to reach out to people. Inside of me there was this strong independent person who wants to take on the world, make a change, take chances, make choices on how I want to improve my life, do everything my heart desire, but there was this whole thing about being seen as a woman that held me back. Being told that there are so many things that a woman can not do, can not say, can not want, I soon started to realize that I'm getting older, time is running out and I need to do something about it. My answer to everything was this transition...and so my journey began. I started the hormones on my own, without any doctors, without seeing a Psychologist. For the first 3 months I experienced a lot of changes, moods etc. but I just kept going because I know where I'm heading and what I want. The first 4-6 Months was tough...I couldn't sleep for so many nights, lying there feeling how my body is changing. I remember at some point feeling a little depressed, but it was more tiredness, thinking, focusing on reality. My family soon started to realize that there's something going on, and I just told them: "No, I have a cold" or "I have flu" and I tried to keep them on a need to know bases, cause I didn't know how they would react to the situation and the questions that they would ask ''why '',''when'' and why didn't tell them and how I would answer them. That was at the point my voice started to change. Then when my facial hair started growing, I shaved every time I knew I would see them so that I don't need to deal with rejection at that point 'cause I wasn't sure how they will handle the situation and I wasn't sure how I will deal with the rejection from them. A good support system is a big role in this whole transition and I was afraid for my family rejecting me, I really needed them at that point. Then I eventually told them about the transition, what's about to happen, that I'm still me. Everyone was afraid for the "Big Change" but I explained to them that the loving, caring, big hearted person that they brought up will never change, only the outside image everyone sees. They struggled to understand the choice I've made but I knew it was only a matter of time, and time was what I gave them. At first with my journey I started to life like a hermit, hiding from the world, not talking to my friends or family, staying home and never socialize. I didn't realize that (how) I withdraw myself from everything and everyone and soon it was getting to my relationship with my girlfriend. I was hiding from the world, and that wasn't fair towards the people close to me. I pushed everyone away, not knowing that they were only trying to be there for me, and help me...I tried to help myself in the meanwhile, by being all by myself and prepare for whatever crosses my path. As soon as I started to share my story with people, on social media, just embracing who and what I am, it felt like I could breathe again, live again with so many things to be excited about. I struggled to get a propper job the past 2 years, residing from one town to another, one relationship after the other...I struggled to find myself, find my feet. That's not the way of living I've imagined on this age I'm at, it was slowly getting to me but I knew I had to keep my head held high and focus on what I want for myself. Maybe if I know who I am and if I find happiness with myself, my body etc. things will slowly fall in place for me and the right opportunities will be in my favour. Now all of you are probably wondering what do I do for a living? Well my childhood dream was to become a professional Musician/Songwriter all my life. I learned to play guitar on the age of 8 Years old by my old man. He showed me only 3 chords and from there on I learned myself with only a old Guitar Chord Book and by hearing. This passion grew more and more everyday and soon became a dream, I knew this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. It made me feel alive, music made me happy, music was my answer to everything I've questioned, music was my only friend whom I could share every emotion, music didn't judge, music was and will always be my everything. I remeber when I was in High School all the boys started to go through puberty, facial hair started growing, voice changes and I felt left behind because in my heart and mind I felt part of the boys. It bothered me but I just carried on with life, with this calm feeling in the back of my head that one day I'll be who I want to be and surprise everybody (strangely I didn't knew it was possible to become the man I dreamed of being). After finishing School I Started working for myself in the Entertainment bussiness and managing a Club my dad helped me to open. I runned the club for 3 years plus, I was very successful and learned a lot, enjoyed it but it wasn't me, it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and because of my age so I went to the big City (Pretoria Gauteng). I left the small town where I grew up, everything I knew growing up here for something unfamiliar, bigger and way different. Didn't had a job, only my vehicle, clothes, guitar, laptop and speakers...I knew I could do something with what I had with me. I stayed with my family and at a time with another girl I also dated and it helped me a lot saving money 'cause I'm unemployed. So my first weekend in the City I got a show at a small pub to perform and after that the shows kept coming in one after the other. That's how I made a living and in the meanwhile I loved what I did to make money and I'm proud to say I worked for it myself. In the time I resided in Pretoria I got a temporary job at a onlineTicket sales Company, after that a permenant position at a Solar Company and I've enjoyed the experience and the fact that I met some great people, learning new things, change of scenery. I think the two years there made me independent, going through a lot of things very few of my family knew. I met a transgender guy and he was send to cross my path for a reason, today he is my friend, my mentor and I have so much respect for him.

I'm glad to say that I got out of the hole I was hiding in with this transition, hiding would've never been good for me in the long run. Because of the club I had, the time I've spend on stage I was quite popular and a lot of people knew me so everyone started wondering where I am, what's going on and I couldn't stand to make any further excuses hiding. I did decide to share my story with the world, this is my story and I want to inspire people to be real, to be themselfs, help other transgenders struggling to be happy and comfortable in their own skin. So I am out, loud and proud!!

Since I started dating girls I always got a way to make the straight girls fall inlove with me and nobody could understand that, not even me but it worked for me and I felt proud walking with a beautiful lady next to me but I always felt self concious about the way I looked and about my body.

I really need everyone's help to make my dream come true, I started saving up last year for my top surgery date 02 Feb 2018 but the time wasn't enough so I moved my date to the 27th of April 2018. I know it's not a lot of extra time but that's the only date I got, so I desperately ask each and everyone to help me, I still need R35 000 (South Africa) please.

I'm not in a position to get that amount of money before the 23rd of April (payment date) so that's why I'm asking a little bit of help. My medical aid doesn't cover anything at all, can't get a loan so my last hope is this Fundraise!!!

(If there's something I left out, I'm sorry but my Story got a bit longer than I thought it would.)

My facebook name: @SharkiePietersen

PO Box: 324
Naboomspruit Limpopo
Zip code: 0560