Change for freedom

my name is nathan dahling, im 30 years old I have a wife, kids and two dogs. I go to work everyday and come home to my family after work. We do family stuff on weekends and days off like go hiking or swimming. Its the little things in life that matter, and family of course! I've spent most of my life in and out of jail since I was minor, and the last time I got out of prison I was determined to change to live a better life. I have been out of prison for over 2 years now, completed parole, and I'm still sober and working and enjoying life and my freedom. I figured that leaving the state and starting over would be best so I rented a u haul and packed my little family up. Well plans didnt go as planned and we ended up in the same state just in a different part staying in a hotel, waiting to see if the job offer I had received in the other state was still available. Two weeks goes by and I still have this uhual and still paying for a motel room. Its getting expensive, I call uhual and extend my reservation for another few days. I didn't realize how much money we had spent and I guess when uhual went to process the payment two days later there wasn't enough funds. They never said anything to me, just reported the truck stolen. And before I know it my wife and I are walking out of the room to go get dinner and we are being shot at. They where cops there for the u haul. We would of never knew they where police though since they didn't say who they where or even get out of their vehicles before shooting. I was shot three times and tazed twice. Two of the shots where rubber bullets and one was a live round. They said it was cause of my past is why they shot first then asked questions later. Of course none of then had on body cams and they are trying to say they didn't shoot any live rounds and I was resisting arrest. Which I wasn't I was on the ground shot. Due to prior convictions and not being able to hire an attorney, I might be spending the next 30 years in prison. I had a few free consultations with lawyers and they all tell me I have a great case and that I'm being done wrong and unjustly due to my past and that they can help. But for 80,000. Dollars. I can't afford That even if I worked three jobs. And I'm affraid I'm going to have to leave my wife and kids for a long time. I swore to myself when I got released I would never go back to prison again, and here I find myself looking at going back and for a very long time. I don't want to miss kids growing up and I don't want to be away from my wife and kids. I have made mistakes in the past but I did the time for those and I admit I had been wrong before but this time it was an innocent mistake that could of been fixed had u haul called to let me know the payment didn't go through or even that they where reporting the truck stolen . I don't want a u haul truck they are gas hogs and not enough room for the whole family. I would have just returned it and figured out what was going on. But now my life is on the line and cause I have screwed up in the past they are trying to lock me up and throw away the key.

1. I need help to get a lawyer that will actually defend me and not just tell me I'm screwed when I say I want to go to trial. I need a lawyer that will help me fight this, cause its my life I'm fighting for and not just mine but my kids and wife too. Cause this affects all them as well! I'd appreciate any and all the help I can get. Thank you for taking the time to read this.